World Sport

Dafne Schippers admits to using performance enhancing drugs

story image about Schippers and dafne
Report story

World Champion in the women's 200M sprint, Dutchwoman Dafne Schippers has admitted to taking performance enhancing drugs. On the eve of the Diamond League meet in Oslo in which she was expected to take part in the 200M, a teary-eyed Ms. Schippers called a press conference to come clean. "I am very sorry for what I have done." "I did dope to medal in the 100M and to win the 200M in Beijing at the World's last year." "How else was I supposed to challenge those Jamaican girls?"

The confession has shocked the sporting world similar to the way Maria Sharapova's admission to testing positive for Meldonium use at the Australian Open earlier this year did. The IAAF and WADA have said that Schippers will serve a two year ban. In addition to which, she will have to return the silver and gold medals she won at the Beijing World's last year along with the silver medal she won at the Indoors in Portland back in March and whatever prize monies she's gotten in appearance fees and Diamond League wins for the past year. She has also lost endorsement deals with Nike, Ziggo Sport and AA Drink. Schippers' woes have set social media ablaze.

One Facebook commentator going by the name Queen Shaneequa said: "I always knew all along that that Becky Bitch was cheating. Dese cracka girls always wanna dominate everything that we black women excel in but they know fully well that they can't compete with us. That's why they always have to juice up to compete. I always thought she looked manly. Now I know why." The post has received over a million likes as of this writing.

The fiasco surrounding Schippers has come as a huge blow to the Dutch Olympic team just under two months before the world's greatest multi-sport spectacle begins in Rio de Janeiro. Schippers was seeking to become the first Dutchwoman to do the sprint double at the Olympic Games since the legendary Fanny Blankers-Koen. The latter was the first and only woman to date to win four gold medals in Olympic track and field. It was a feat she accomplished 68 years ago at the 1948 London Olympics.




Headlines like this

thumbnail for item Ninja please

Ninja 4 President

US News Politics 21

A ninja has today announced his candidacy for the next American Presidency, in 2016. Although currently unaffiliated to any of the major parties, Dan Silverman (46) is said to...

read more
9 years ago
thumbnail for item Asian man drinking coffee on phone

Dictator eats victim's meal

World 2

Asian dictator Jeff Un Sum was today exposed to the world as a "stealer of meals". The footage, uploaded to social media network Vine, shows the dictator smiling as he flagrantly...

read more
9 years ago

Comments

#1 @ 7 years ago
by cake-flag7 - Ghost

I AM ENTIRELY PLUSSED BY THIS ARTICLE. THIS SEEMS BOGUS. BUT THEN I'M NOT A MAGIC 8 BALL.

2 comments, registered 9 years ago
#2 @ 7 years ago
by meat-octopus111 - Ghost

THERE'S NO WAY THIS COULD BE TRUE.

6 comments, registered 9 years ago
#3 @ 7 years ago
by SPY_SINK - Ghost

meat-octopus111 wrote

THERE'S NO WAY THIS COULD BE TRUE.

I doubt this is right. People claim to have died for our sin's. I believe that's relevant someho.

7 comments, registered 8 years ago
#4 @ 7 years ago
by modern times - Ghost

SPY_SINK wrote

meat-octopus111 wrote

THERE'S NO WAY THIS COULD BE TRUE.

I doubt this is right. People claim to have died for our sin's. I believe that's relevant someho.

THERE ARE TOO MANY MAJESTIC ITEMS ON WEB PAGES, BUT THIS IS FAKE.

8 comments, registered 8 years ago
#5 @ 7 years ago
by Some Like It Hot - One-off wonder

SPY_SINK wrote

meat-octopus111 wrote

THERE'S NO WAY THIS COULD BE TRUE.

I doubt this is right. People claim to have died for our sin's. I believe that's relevant someho.

Amusing. Ha!

1 comment, registered 8 years ago
#6 @ 7 years ago
by toyscherry - One-off wonder

SPY_SINK wrote

meat-octopus111 wrote

THERE'S NO WAY THIS COULD BE TRUE.

I doubt this is right. People claim to have died for our sin's. I believe that's relevant someho.

This is absolutely super.

1 comment, registered 9 years ago

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.


Aries horoscope

This year may seem to have started as you intended, but what's happened since, eh? Nothing. You haven't done anything....

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

Former UK Speaker Betty Boothroyd Mourned by Nation, Fondly Remembered for Whoopie Cushion Shenanigans Brexit Supply Chain Issues Bring Joy to School Children: No More Vegetables Means More Pizza and Sweeties!
Funny RSS feed