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Ed Sheeran Accused of Stealing More Than Just Our Hearts

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In a shocking turn of events, crooner Ed Sheeran made an appearance in an NYC courtroom today to face allegations that his hit song "Thinking Out Loud" steals from the iconic Marvin Gaye classic "Let's Get It On." Fans are devastated, not only by the accusations but by the fact that they may have been unknowingly jamming out to stolen material.

When reached for comment, one outraged fan stated, "I trusted Ed! I let him into my ears and my heart, and now I find out he's a thief? I feel betrayed." Another fan, who prefers to remain anonymous, commented, "I always knew there was something off about that song. Now I can't enjoy it without feeling guilty."

Speculation among the public is rampant, with many wondering if Sheeran's entire discography is just a knockoff of other artists' work. "I wouldn't be surprised if he's been secretly stealing from everyone. Taylor Swift better watch her back," said one particularly salty fan.

Sheeran's defense team argued that the similarities between the two songs are merely a coincidence, but the prosecution claims that the songs have "strikingly similar melody, harmony, and rhythm." In a brief statement outside the courthouse, Sheeran tried to downplay the allegations, stating, "I wrote that song in my underwear, so I couldn't have been copying anything."

Well, there you have it, folks. Ed Sheeran may be a talented musician, but apparently, he's also a shameless copycat. As one fan put it, "He may have been thinking out loud, but he was also stealing out loud."

In any case, this trial is sure to be a hot topic in the music industry for weeks to come, and we can only hope that justice is served. And if it turns out that Sheeran is, in fact, a serial song thief, we suggest we all start playing some classic Marvin Gaye to cleanse our palates. "Ain't nothing like the real thing, baby."

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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