World

Fugitive Meatloaf: I'll never be caught.

story image about When I came home, there was a man in my house...
6 comment(s)
Report story

In a shock off-the-record interview with Laughsend, the fugitive Meatloaf has vowed never to be caught.

We caught up with him just outside a McDonald's in Athens, Greece whilst he was chewing on a Big Mac. We offered him cash, he offered us his story.

Armed with a pump action shotgun, he proceeded to fill us in on what had happened on the night he was arrested, how he came to escape and just what happened at McDonald's Morecambe.

"OK, firstly - I was not guilty of smuggling those cans of tuna paste. Sure, I like tuna - but someone switched those samples. I think it was a guy with one arm."

"I escaped when the truck carrying me to death row crashed and ended up on a railway line. I tried squeezing through the window, but my fat ass just would not fit. I figured the door was easier."

"They found my shackles down the road, after my old pal Jim Steinman (arrested for murdering Andrew Lloyd-Webber) helped me with a key he found."

"I ran like a Bat out of Hell, and even had to do some self-surgery at the hospital. I ate one man's breakfast."

"Then I fled to En-ger-land, where I found this wealth of Drive-Thru's. I headed for somewhere obscure. Morecambe seemed just right. Then they found me. I dropped my Goddamn burger and ran like hell."

"I fled across the field at the back and got as far away as I could. I ended up here in Greece. I think I'm safe here."

"Oh, and I'll never be caught."

There we have it; another chapter unfolds in this story. Meatloaf's naivity continues. We'll keep you posted.

 

Get Weekly Funny Stuff in your Inbox

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter



Headlines like this

thumbnail for item X-Factor 2014

Shocking UK X-Factor News

UK News Entertainment 2

Popular singing contest The X-Factor returns to TV screens this weekend, and along with it the usual pot-of-tricks that has made Simon Cowell the guru of modern-day reality viewing.

read more
5 years ago

These jokes are all in the public domain. Please Respect Copyright Laws.

These jokes are all in the public domain. Please Respect Copyright Laws.

Comments

#1 @ 5 years ago
by foleyd7 - Ghost

Edited: sorry, fake post! Off topic.

9 comments, registered 5 years ago
#2 @ 5 years ago
by FLY CELERY514 - Ghost

foleyd7 wrote

Edited: sorry, fake post! Off topic.

oh shut up. there's something in here that intrigues me... and i think it's how on earth anyone can read it without dying from boredom.

3 comments, registered 5 years ago
#3 @ 5 years ago
by Duck_Cap - Ghost

FLY CELERY514 wrote

foleyd7 wrote

Edited: sorry, fake post! Off topic.

oh shut up. there's something in here that intrigues me... and i think it's how on earth anyone can read it without dying from boredom.

I ca not eplain how I am feelin... I doubt this is accurate. :)

10 comments, registered 5 years ago
#4 @ 5 years ago
by WILLIAMDUKE7 - Quiet veteran

Duck_Cap wrote

FLY CELERY514 wrote

foleyd7 wrote

Edited: sorry, fake post! Off topic.

oh shut up. there's something in here that intrigues me... and i think it's how on earth anyone can read it without dying from boredom.

I ca not eplain how I am feelin... I doubt this is accurate. :)

i didn't seen this because it neither angered nor excited me. i also make obvious comments in real life.

:)

12 comments, registered 5 years ago
#5 @ 5 years ago
by Duck_Cap - Ghost

WILLIAMDUKE7 wrote

Duck_Cap wrote

FLY CELERY514 wrote

foleyd7 wrote

Edited: sorry, fake post! Off topic.

oh shut up. there's something in here that intrigues me... and i think it's how on earth anyone can read it without dying from boredom.

I ca not eplain how I am feelin... I doubt this is accurate. :)

i didn't seen this because it neither angered nor excited me. i also make obvious comments in real life.

:)

Ace! A masteriece. Ha! :)

10 comments, registered 5 years ago
#6 @ 5 years ago
by dillonkidd - Ghost

Duck_Cap wrote

WILLIAMDUKE7 wrote

Duck_Cap wrote

FLY CELERY514 wrote

foleyd7 wrote

Edited: sorry, fake post! Off topic.

oh shut up. there's something in here that intrigues me... and i think it's how on earth anyone can read it without dying from boredom.

I ca not eplain how I am feelin... I doubt this is accurate. :)

i didn't seen this because it neither angered nor excited me. i also make obvious comments in real life.

:)

Ace! A masteriece. Ha! :)

Stop feeding the troll.

10 comments, registered 5 years ago

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.

Funny stuff

Get our funny weekly newsletters straight to your inbox
Subscribe to funny newsletter
... AND CLICK
or Find out more first

Consider checking us out and following us on social media:


Pisces horoscope

A flurry of exclamation marks will come back to haunt you later this month as an email comes true. Harsh words may......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

Tourism booming in Venezuela: A Laughsend Special Report   Punny History  
Write and publish your own funny stories
Free sign up / Login
Funny newsletter Funny RSS feed