Hitler found in Brazil Nut

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The likeness of wannabe Third Reich leader Adolf Hitler was today discovered seemingly imprinted on the sweet fatty body of a brazil nut.

Hitler, 125, is said to have appeared on the nut following a vivid dream by its discoverer Charles Pattern, a US citizen who likes eating nuts.

"The dream was terrifying. It wasn't at all related to Hitler, but it was very vivid - about a piece of toast with wings that was some sort of vigilante super hero. Anyway the following day I opened up a bag of pre-shelled brazil nuts, and there he was - this Hitler guy you people have been telling me about - staring up at me. "

The discovery has led to some Nazi sympathisers taking part in night-time vigils outside Mr Pattern's house in West Illinois. This has led to multiple arrests, apparently because these are the kinds of opportunities you don't pass up often.

The nut itself is now thought to be being polished in readiness for being placed on eBay later this week. Current suggestions are that the nut may be sold for as much as $18, but with more than 70% of that going on eBay's usual fees.

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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