World Outdoor Record holder in the women's Pole Vault - Russian Yelena Isinbayeva is to divorce her husband of a year and a half and father of her daughter Eva - Javelin Thrower Nikita Petinov in order to marry President Vladimir Putin. Speaking to RIA Novosti about the latest development in her fascinating life, an ecstatic Isinbayeva said, "of all the many great moments in my life, this has to top them all. Not my many world records, not my gold medals, not my Golden League wins, not even the birth of my daughter two years ago, but getting married to the greatest man on earth - Vlady." As she affectionately referred to the Russian President.
Asked what was it that forced her to leave Nikita to hook up with the Russian Leader, Isinbayeva replied, "Vlady is such a strong, brave man who stands up for what he believes in and is never intimidated by anyone. Have you ever seen my Vlady bow before another world leader like Obama does? In addition to which, Vlady is a former KGB agent and is also an expert in Judo so I know for a fact that Eva and myself will be well protected and just like me, he detests gays. Poor Nikita was just living in my shadow seeing that I am much more older and mature than him and more accomplished as an athlete. When I was his age I was already a two-time World and Olympic Champion and World Record holder. He has accomplished nothing of significance in the Javelin event. It just wasn't working out between us."
Isinbayeva further went on to say that with a dark cloud of uncertainty surrounding Russia's participation in the Olympics this year, this will be the best news to come out of Russia in a time of great negativity. Speaking about his new bride to be, Putin said, " I always used to ogle over her whenever I saw her participate in athletic meets. She would look so hot in those shorts. I remember seeing a video of her on YouTube when she set her last outdoor World Record of 5.06m at the Zurich Golden League back in 2009 and after she cleared the historic height, she ran excitedly to her then coach Vitaly Petrov and he could be seen patting her toned, tight little butt. I said to myself that I would be patting that butt one day. Also, her being a pole vaulter, she is obviously quite limber and would definitely bring a lot of excitement to the bedroom.That's why I dumped the old hag Lyudmila." While no specific date was given about when President Putin and Isinbayeva will exchange vows, the Russian leader did say that the wedding will definitely take place next year in the Kremlin.