Ken Kratz to star in Dallas-style remake of Making a Murderer

Popular Netflix documentary Making a Murderer is set to undergo a Hollywood remake in 2016, dramatised in a ten part series with B-list actors in poorly applied makeup. The documentary has been converted into a stylised courtroom drama, said to be very much in the vein of hit 80s TV show Dallas. More remarkable, perhaps, is that one of the major players of the original documentary, Ken "Koolaid" Kratz, is set to star in the dramatisation, this time playing convicted killer Steven Avery.

"It's a chance to really show how good my acting skills are," said Kratz on his award-winning blog The Prize. "Although I should make clear that at no point during the trial of Steven Avery was there any acting involved. That was all from the heart. My big, beating heart that flushes red with the thoughts of prowess."

When asked, during a rather rambunctious "comments section" tiff in which the following message was subsequently deleted, whether he would struggle to play someone like Avery, Kratz opined:

"Well, when I look deep into my soul, and I consider the fact that I'm probably guilty myself of worse crimes than he is, I don't think it will be a problem."

Commentator DildoOnFire534 gave us his/her interpretation of the comment, which was deleted several minutes after being made.

"I think it's Kratz saying that the fact that he took advantage of vulnerable people directly in his care, as happened in at least one domestic abuse case he was handling, where he famously described himself as 'the prize', that this is subjectively worse than setting a cat on fire, or threatening your cousin. Whether that's true or not is for a court to decide... oh wait! Privileges!"

Laughsend would like to make clear that it enjoyed Making a Murderer, and that this fact makes it very sad.