To coincide with the announcement that Star Wars actors Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford, Lucasfilm - now owned by Disney - have released details about another returning cast member - Darth Vader, or, more accurately, his rabbit.
It's a little known pop fact that during the filming of what was originally known as Star Wars, but later became Episode IV A New Hope, a number of the original cast owned and brought in their pets for the shooting. Hamill had a pet doberman called Snuff, Ford had a python with a penchant for playing with the ladies, and Fisher had a nursing guinea pig. Veteran actor David Prowse, who played the suit-version of Darth Vader, brought along his childrens' pet rabbit.
"When we heard about this story," declared Director J J Abrams, "we loved it. We've invited all the crew to bring in their pets for the shooting, and HR or some shut bullshit department have said that it's a stupid idea, so we're not going to do it. However, since Darth Vader isn't in the movie, and David Prowse won't be acting in the film, we've decided to resurrect his bunny and have it secretly hop around the set. It's a sort of loophole in those bullshit HR health and safety craplaws."
Will we see the bunny on film? Probably not. A future easter egg for the video perhaps? Maybe. It certainly won't be the first time bunnies and eggs have been associated.
Editor: I don't think this story makes any sense. Can we just cut it? Oh, and if you don't, make sure you bozos don't publish it with this remark in it.