Rio's Mayor Marcelo Crivella - a retired Pentecostal Bishop has issued a warning to the city's women a day before the launch of the world's largest street party - "Cover up or face being arrested." Giving a speech before thousands at a curtain-raising ceremony before he officially kick started the annual pre-Lenten festivities, Crivella said:
"This wonderful city of Rio de Janeiro is famous for a lot of things. Its beaches, its music, its women. But perhaps most importantly it is famous for its Carnival. This is an annual festival which generates millions of dollars for our city every year. It showcases the beauty and creativity of the Brazilian people and draws thousands of tourists to our land who are able to take part in our culture and enjoy Brazilian hospitality. That said, there is one very disturbing aspect of this festival which I, as a former Pentecostal Bishop have to speak openly about. People, I am referring to the immodest costumes which our women tend to wear when they take part the festivities which usually leaves nothing to the imagination."
The Mayor continued:
"We all see what a lot of our women wear when they take to the streets of Rio every year around this time. Or rather want they don't wear. It is basically a shameless display of females wearing virtually nothing dancing seductively for the eyes of scores of amorous horny men. Is there any wonder why there is such a huge increase in sexual assaults in the country around this time of year? It is my duty as Mayor to maintain the decency of this festival. So it is with great regret that I have to inform all the women who want to dress in immodest costumes to participate in the Carnival festivities to cover up or face being arrested. The seductive dancing is also forbidden. I just want to make it clear that this is not about my trying to eradicate the fun from the festival, but this is about my wanting to protect our women and ensure that they are not seen as mere aphrodisiac for men who may ultimately want to violate them."
Mr. Crivella concluded:
"In closing I would like to give you people something to think about, Romans 13:13 says: "Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy." Let's be real here people, we can't have a statue of Jesus overlooking our city yet we behave like children of the devil. My Brazilian compatriots let that scripture serve as a caution to all of you. Have a wonderful nude-less, sex-free Carnival."
WHENEVER I THINK "I CAE", I ALWAYS THEN WONDER IF I SHOULD SEE THE OPTICIAN. BUT WOULD I? PUNS A-PLENTY.
People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow. Meh.
People win awards for all sorts of things. Not relevant right now, but good information to have, I feel. This seems silly. But then I am not a magic 8 ball.