World Sport

Sharapova retires from tennis; to pursue new career in modeling

story image about career and modeling
Report story

In a move that many thought would have come sooner, disgraced Russian tennis player Maria Sharapova, who is currently serving a two-year ban for failing a drugs test at the Australian Open back in January, officially announced her retirement today from the sport so that she can pursue a career in modeling. Speaking at a press conference in Moscow, Sharapova had this to say:

"After long consideration and deep meditation I have finally decided that it was about time that I called it quits from tennis. The good thing is that I am retiring with no regrets because I have won all four Grand Slams at least once in my life and although my rivalry with Serena was very lop-sided, at least I can still boast that I defeated her twice in my career including a Grand Slam final - Wimbledon 2004. I know that I let myself and my fans down with the Meldonium incident but one must realize the pressure that I was under. Many Russians were very critical of me and told me that I would not be considered a true Russian athlete if I didn't use PED's. I just had to be loyal to my country even though I reside in the United States and speak with a more American accent, I am still truly Russian in my heart."

An emotional Sharapova concluded.

Asked what will be her next move career-wise, Sharapova's mood changed as she had this response:

"I am so glad that you asked that because just yesterday I was contacted by a top New York-based modeling agency that works with a famous designer and was told that I have the right look. So you will be seeing more of me on the catwalk from now on. That is of course providing you can recognize me seeing that there are so many tall blondes in the modeling profession. The good thing about my leaving tennis is that at least from now on people will not have to put up with my annoying shrieking and my male fans won't get into trouble anymore when they wake up early in the morning to watch me play in the Australian Open and their wives and girlfriends mistake my shrieking for a scene from a porn movie."

Get Weekly Funny Stuff in your Inbox

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter

Headlines like this

thumbnail for item

Ozone layer retires

World 0

There were shock reports today from the United Nations that the the Ozone layer has decided to retire early. The Ozone layer, made famous in the 1980s in well-founded environmental...

read more
8 years ago


This content hasn't made people froth at the mouth with comments yet. Why not be the first to add one?

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.

Funny stuff

Get our funny weekly newsletters straight to your inbox
Subscribe to funny newsletter
or Find out more first

Consider checking us out and following us on social media:

Gemini horoscope

All your long-term plans will come into fruition this month. Beware of speeding busses. Cats are your "animal of the......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

Tourism booming in Venezuela: A Laughsend Special Report   Punny History  
Write a funny story here
Free sign up / Login
Funny newsletter Funny RSS feed