Soldiers not automatically 'heroes' claims brave man

Martin Nuzzlewit, 42, was today subject to online and offline abuse due to a newspaper article he wrote in 2008, and recently posted online, which claimed that not everyone in the armed forces is "automatically a hero". Nuzzlewit, who currently lives in a secret bunker, but formerly of Wales, has been taking refuge from what he claims to have been a "direct and visceral personal assault upon his being". Accident & Emergency records seem to verify this claim.

The article, which we have not been given permission to reproduce, originally suggested that although many of those who joined the British Army were certainly deserving of respect, especially on occasions in which they have actually earned it, there was no need to automatically emblazon them with rights beyond their obvious merit.

"I have nothing at all against anyone in the armed forces," Nuzzlewit clarified. "Some of my best friends own pairs of camouflaged trousers, after all. My point was merely that if a man or woman has got a job in the army, for example, that it doesn't mean they are necessarily of high moral courage or fibre; merely that they chose that occupation. There are many examples of heroic acts happening globally and constantly; let's remember that those in the armed forces are necessarily put in those situations more often than others. Each act deserves rewarding - absolutely; but each member of a group does not automatically earn that right."

Nuzzlewit is currently recovering from an anus-related injury.