Sumo Wrestling to be included in Tokyo 2020 Games

There is good news for guys who consider themselves obese. The International Olympic Committee has given the all clear for Sumo Wrestling to be included on the Olympic Programme for the Tokyo 2020 Games. For years the Japanese Olympic Committee had been lobbying for the sport's inclusion in the Games and today the IOC finally acceded to their request. Reading from a prepared statement during a press conference at their headquarters in Lausanne Switzerland, IOC President Thomas Bach, had this to say:

"The IOC has decided to make the ancient Japanese past time of Sumo Wrestling an official Olympic Sport. This is a Martial Art that originated over two thousand years ago and what more opportune occasion to make it an official Olympic Sport than in 2020 when the city of Tokyo is hosting the Games? If we can have Judo and Taekwondo in the Olympics, why not have Sumo Wrestling?"

The announcement did not sit too well with everyone though. Contacted to get his take on this latest move to make the Olympic Games....uh...bigger, retired Greco-Roman Olympic Wrestling Legend Alexandr "Russian Bear" Karelin opined:

"Can anyone tell me what ees so entertaining about two overweight men een thongs trying to poosh each other down? How does dees help to make thee Oleempeeks better? I thought that thee Oleempeeks was supposed to promote a poseeteev sporting eemage? Not endorse nudeety and obeeseety."