World Health Entertainment

You only live three times, says renowned James Bond enemy

story image about Bond and Bond contradictor
Report story

In the world of spies and spy related shenanigans, there is no better known arch-enemy than Rnst Blomee. For decades, British spy James Bond, also known as 007, has been at loggerheads with Blomee, and today Mr Bond's large, balding uber-opponent has released a statement contradicting the spy's claim that spies only live twice.

"It's nonsense," said Blomee. "Everyone knows that you live three times - it's a scientific fact. Mr Bond is showing, once again, that he is ignorant of the very basic principles of the real world, and is instead living in a fantasy. I mean, the man must be 97 years old by now. What a stupid man."

Mr Bond's lawyers have yet to respond to the outrageous put-downs, but no doubt will. In the meantime, someone we emailed called Mr Bend, responded on his behalf.

"Oh sure, Blomee's got this one wrong. See - I know for a fact that someone can live six, seven, maybe even eight times. As far as I know there's no actual limit. Perhaps it depends on how bad the stabbing is, or how concentrated the suphuric acid. I know for sure that Bond has never survived a leap off a large building. Food for thought, I think you'll find."

Food, indeed. But for thought? I'll leave that to the real experts.

This is John Thomas, reporting.

Get Weekly Funny Stuff in your Inbox

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter



Headlines like this

thumbnail for item Ninja please

Ninja 4 President

US News Politics 21

A ninja has today announced his candidacy for the next American Presidency, in 2016. Although currently unaffiliated to any of the major parties, Dan Silverman (46) is said to...

read more
5 years ago
thumbnail for item Asian man drinking coffee on phone

Dictator eats victim's meal

World 2

Asian dictator Jeff Un Sum was today exposed to the world as a "stealer of meals". The footage, uploaded to social media network Vine, shows the dictator smiling as he flagrantly...

read more
5 years ago

Comments

This content hasn't made people froth at the mouth with comments yet. Why not be the first to add one?

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.

Funny stuff

Get our funny weekly newsletters straight to your inbox
Subscribe to funny newsletter
... AND CLICK
or Find out more first

Consider checking us out and following us on social media:


Libra horoscope

Dimples can appear at any time today in your otherwise flawless but kind of saggy skin. Don't worry. Be happy. Trying......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

Peruvian President declares Monday 10th December 'Shevchenko Day' following UFC 231 title win   BBC reporter fired for "racist" comment while covering FIFA U-17 Women's World Cup match  
Write a funny story here
Free sign up / Login
Funny newsletter Funny RSS feed