|
06:00 |
Wake up losers
|
News / political programme |
|
|
06:00AM to 08:30AM.
Insulting breakfast show that tells the viewer to wake up and smell the coffee.
Jet fuel can't melt steal beams
View more details
|
|
08:30 |
Norma
|
Genital health show |
|
|
08:30AM to 09:00AM.
Classically trained chef Norma turns her hand to problem solving people's relationship issues and venereal diseases.
View more details
|
|
09:00 |
Mary Russo
|
Chat show |
|
|
09:00AM to 10:30AM.
Chat show, only about half as interesting.
View more details
|
|
10:30 |
Loose men
|
Current / consumer affairs |
|
|
10:30AM to 11:30AM.
Backslapping sexist pigs attempt to masquerade their show as relevant by occasionally discussing cancer.
View more details
|
|
11:30 |
Not the whole penny
|
Current / consumer affairs |
|
|
11:30AM to 12:30PM.
Business studies professor Mary Nixon investigates what happens to all those decimal parts of computed wage-slips that "get lost in the system somewhere". Interviews with the idiots behind Superman 3, and the geniuses behind Office Space.
View more details
|
|
12:30 |
News in the Afternoon
|
News / political programme |
|
|
12:30PM to 13:00PM. Due to legal restrictions, you may only pause this program once
Straight talking news show that doesn't shy away from showing you beheading videos.
View more details
|
|
13:00 |
And in the morning the rash should be gone
|
Soap |
|
|
13:00PM to 13:30PM.
It's always fun at the Doctors' - new drama series with Henry Key and Robert Key
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Indian meals provide at least nine hundred and forty three percent of the drama. Carl is warned that always being late May not be the right answer. Everyone forgets what happened recently, and he knows Jillian's little secret. Remember: half the cast voted for this storyline.
View more details
|
|
13:30 |
The street where you live
|
Soap |
|
|
13:30PM to 14:00PM.
Truly award winning* soap based on a totally normal street near you.
*Not actually award winning
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Everything seems to change with someone being ready for the worst. Matthew has flashbacks to going for a long walk, and he wonders what it would be like to go around playing the piano. Voices will be raised; expectations lowered.
View more details
|
|
14:00 |
I just want my money, that's all
|
Auction show |
|
|
14:00PM to 15:00PM.
People stand around pretending to be interested while an old man wearing tweed tells them how much money their crap from the mantelpiece costs.
View more details
|
|
15:00 |
Avery does crime & time
|
Crime / Murder mystery Series |
|
|
15:00PM to 16:00PM.
Denim jeans salesman Lisa Avery performs a misdeed and is jailed in this weekly drek.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Blaine considers the moral rights and wrongs of growing a moustache. Everyone wonders what horrors will be next. Can the tension last while Blaine is still there? He wonders what it would be like to go around being able to see through walls. Writers strikes definitely did not happen at this point in the series.
View more details
|
|
16:00 |
The investigator did it
|
Crime / Murder mystery Series |
|
|
16:00PM to 16:30PM.
Weekly escapades of naughty detective Guilt, attempting to solve crimes that he himself committed.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: George decides to chop it off and hope for the best, and he begins to think about the past. Remember: half the cast voted for this storyline.
Morally repugnant
View more details
|
|
16:30 |
Hands-down pants-down
|
Quiz show |
|
|
16:30PM to 17:00PM.
Wacky quiz in which contestants must guess who is their partner by examining their genitals.
View more details
|
|
17:00 |
News close to you
|
News / political programme |
|
|
17:00PM to 17:30PM.
A summary of all the regional drama that happened outisde the shopping centre near where you live.
View more details
|
|
17:30 |
News in the Evening
|
News / political programme |
|
|
17:30PM to 19:00PM.
Hope you're back from your day job, because this is what we feed you when you're too tired to move or find the remote control.
View more details
|
|
19:00 |
All this used to be fields
|
Soap |
|
|
19:00PM to 19:30PM.
Sexy young couples, old people, and nothing in between, all fight and flooze together in one amazing farming community.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Will Guy confess to Maynard about worshipping false idols? The trouble with always being late begins to change the overall effect of the sci-fi enthusiasts it's time for Guy to tell the truth about Maynard. Remember: half the cast voted for this storyline.
View more details
|
|
19:30 |
People who live next door
|
Soap |
|
|
19:30PM to 20:00PM.
Australian soap. Four hundred people dwell in a single street, presumably leading to a great deal of webbed-feet and confusion about which cousin is which.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Nobody knows, and nobody cares. The leopard does not change his spots. Can this be allowed to continue?
View more details
|
|
20:00 |
You carry a pink umbrella and you're not gay?
|
Current / consumer affairs |
|
|
20:00PM to 20:30PM.
Series outing those who are clearly gay but not aware of it.
View more details
|
|
20:30 |
If it moves - kill it, screw it or give it up for adoption
|
Soap |
|
|
20:30PM to 21:00PM.
Award winning soap in which the worst possible people are presented in a totally believable way.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Michaela has flashbacks to growing a moustache. Everyone wonders what horrors will be next, and learns today what it means that: early to bed, early to rise, makes you healthy, wealthy & wise. The luck of the draw.
View more details
|
|
21:00 |
Torture and happiness
|
Documentary |
|
|
21:00PM to 22:00PM.
A frank look at sado-maschism in the modern age: from spank nurses that visit work desks, to pocket ball-pincher devices, we examine this new world that is unravelling before our eyes.
View more details
|
|
22:00 |
Surely it's too late for news?!
|
News / political programme |
|
|
22:00PM to 22:30PM.
It's never too late. Even though you've been following all the news throughout the day on your smartphone.
View more details
|
|
22:30 |
Unsaved document
|
Crime / Murder mystery Series |
|
|
22:30PM to 23:30PM.
High tech police drama where police attempt to recover data from students who lose their unsaved homework.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: creased, folded hairpieces provide at least one hundred and sixty one percent of the drama. The future is always blamed for the re-appearance of cows.
View more details
|
|
23:30 |
You got it stuck in there, you get it out
|
Hospital drama |
|
|
23:30PM to 00:00AM.
Medical drama starring Edna Bright and Charles Schaefer. 30 goddamn minutes of constant hell.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: No-one is sure Kevin Stuart is even serious, and is wearing shoes that are too small. Nobody is quite sure what the result might be.
View more details
|
|
00:00 |
My belief is suspended
|
Sci-Fi Film |
|
|
00:00AM to 02:00AM.
With this film, you'll really feel like you can fly, if you take a shit load of Nitrous Oxide or use your imagination. Whatever.
View more details
|