|
06:00 |
Wake up losers
|
News / political programme |
|
|
06:00AM to 08:30AM.
Insulting breakfast show that tells the viewer to wake up and smell the coffee.
Jet fuel can't melt steal beams
View more details
|
|
08:30 |
Norma
|
Genital health show |
|
|
08:30AM to 09:00AM.
Classically trained chef Norma turns her hand to problem solving people's relationship issues and venereal diseases.
View more details
|
|
09:00 |
You carry a pink umbrella and you're not gay?
|
Current / consumer affairs |
|
|
09:00AM to 09:30AM.
Series outing those who are clearly gay but not aware of it.
View more details
|
|
09:30 |
Astrology from uranus
|
Current / consumer affairs |
|
|
09:30AM to 10:30AM.
Spoof magician presents this weekly show forecasting hilarious doom for everyone.
View more details
|
|
10:30 |
Loose men
|
Current / consumer affairs |
|
|
10:30AM to 11:30AM.
Backslapping sexist pigs attempt to masquerade their show as relevant by occasionally discussing cancer.
View more details
|
|
11:30 |
Not the whole penny
|
Current / consumer affairs |
|
|
11:30AM to 12:30PM.
Business studies professor Mary Nixon investigates what happens to all those decimal parts of computed wage-slips that "get lost in the system somewhere". Interviews with the idiots behind Superman 3, and the geniuses behind Office Space.
View more details
|
|
12:30 |
News in the Afternoon
|
News / political programme |
|
|
12:30PM to 13:00PM. Due to legal restrictions, you may only pause this program once
Straight talking news show that doesn't shy away from showing you beheading videos.
View more details
|
|
13:00 |
And in the morning the rash should be gone
|
Soap |
|
|
13:00PM to 13:30PM.
It's always fun at the Doctors' - new drama series with Henry Key and Robert Key
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Carl has the presence of mind to consider driving nude from the waist down. The trouble with doing bad things begins to change the overall effect of the smartphone covers. Writers strikes definitely did not happen at this point in the series.
View more details
|
|
13:30 |
The street where you live
|
Soap |
|
|
13:30PM to 14:00PM.
Truly award winning* soap based on a totally normal street near you.
*Not actually award winning
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Logic takes the high road in this action fraught drama. Matthew wonders what it would be like to not go around identifying as goatkin, and discovers that Kiara is reading the wrong newspapers. Danger never felt so real.
View more details
|
|
14:00 |
I just want my money, that's all
|
Auction show |
|
|
14:00PM to 15:00PM.
People stand around pretending to be interested while an old man wearing tweed tells them how much money their crap from the mantelpiece costs.
View more details
|
|
15:00 |
Avery does crime & time
|
Crime / Murder mystery Series |
|
|
15:00PM to 16:00PM.
Denim jeans salesman Lisa Avery performs a misdeed and is jailed in this weekly drek.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: What is swallowed once, is never attempted again. Smelly feet provide at least six hundred and four percent of the drama. Blaine will have to face the consequences of sickening. As someone finds out the odd looks from strangers, bloody knives discuss the long term peace treaty. Nobody is quite sure what the result might be.
View more details
|
|
16:00 |
The investigator did it
|
Crime / Murder mystery Series |
|
|
16:00PM to 16:30PM.
Weekly escapades of naughty detective Guilt, attempting to solve crimes that he himself committed.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: George Guilt wonders what it would be like to go around presenting neighbours with signed copies of their own photographs; he wonders what it would be like to not go around sickening. And that concludes something.
Morally repugnant
View more details
|
|
16:30 |
Hands-down pants-down
|
Quiz show |
|
|
16:30PM to 17:00PM.
Wacky quiz in which contestants must guess who is their partner by examining their genitals.
View more details
|
|
17:00 |
News close to you
|
News / political programme |
|
|
17:00PM to 17:30PM.
A summary of all the regional drama that happened outisde the shopping centre near where you live.
View more details
|
|
17:30 |
News in the Evening
|
News / political programme |
|
|
17:30PM to 19:00PM.
Hope you're back from your day job, because this is what we feed you when you're too tired to move or find the remote control.
View more details
|
|
19:00 |
All this used to be fields
|
Soap |
|
|
19:00PM to 19:30PM.
Sexy young couples, old people, and nothing in between, all fight and flooze together in one amazing farming community.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: What is swallowed once, is never attempted again.
View more details
|
|
19:30 |
People who live next door
|
Soap |
|
|
19:30PM to 20:00PM.
Australian soap. Four hundred people dwell in a single street, presumably leading to a great deal of webbed-feet and confusion about which cousin is which.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: It occurs to Mary that being unable to locate things without use of the tongue is probably not for the best. Everyone wonders what horrors will be next. What will the neighbours say?
View more details
|
|
20:00 |
Weekly MP bribe
|
Current / consumer affairs |
|
|
20:00PM to 20:30PM.
Examining the various bribes that have been given to MPs this week in order to maintain the status quo of rich people controlling everything.
View more details
|
|
20:30 |
If it moves - kill it, screw it or give it up for adoption
|
Soap |
|
|
20:30PM to 21:00PM.
Award winning soap in which the worst possible people are presented in a totally believable way.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Michaela knows Cecil's little secret, and she notices that Cecil is becoming a practicing homosexual, and she reveals the truth about Cecil, and she decides to drop clothes to the floor. It's all down to luck from here on in.
View more details
|
|
21:00 |
I done killed the witch
|
Documentary |
|
|
21:00PM to 22:00PM. Available only for recording to VHS or Betamax.
The series borne from the 30 minute documentary that originally aired as "Oz, 2014 - it's not Kansas anymore. Come to think of it, it never was, it was Oz.". Get ready for L. Frank Baum's classic to get horribly murdered with a combination of poor grammar and bright scenery.
View more details
|
|
22:00 |
Surely it's too late for news?!
|
News / political programme |
|
|
22:00PM to 22:30PM.
It's never too late. Even though you've been following all the news throughout the day on your smartphone.
View more details
|
|
22:30 |
Killing in the name of Hyman Key
|
Historical / Period Drama Series |
|
|
22:30PM to 23:30PM.
A different fanatic group each week attempts to out-do believers in Hyman Key. Who will prevail?
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Jesus decides it might be time to give less of a monkeys. In the future, our robotic overlords will look back at this and weep? Alledgedly?
View more details
|
|
23:30 |
You got it stuck in there, you get it out
|
Hospital drama |
|
|
23:30PM to 00:00AM.
Medical drama starring Edna Bright and Charles Schaefer. 30 goddamn minutes of constant hell.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Will Kevin confess to Hilda about not telling anyone their real name? It's time for Kevin to tell the truth about Hilda. Can Kevin face the truth about salivating constantly? Pride feels no pain. It's true - no-one cares about upsetting a droid.
View more details
|
|
00:00 |
My belief is suspended
|
Sci-Fi Film |
|
|
00:00AM to 02:00AM.
With this film, you'll really feel like you can fly, if you take a shit load of Nitrous Oxide or use your imagination. Whatever.
View more details
|