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18:00 |
The Thompsons
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Cartoon Series |
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18:00PM to 18:30PM.
Heavily caricatured family with a wife-beating husband, loving mother, one naughty child and one know-it-all child, all attempt to live harmoniously.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Can the tension last while Michael is still there? And you still watch this stuff?
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18:30 |
Where grown men go to cry/masturbate
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Cartoon Series |
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18:30PM to 19:00PM.
Hilarious "adults only" cartoon that only children or the pathetic will watch.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: George knows Betty's little secret. No-one is sure George is even serious, and he learns today what the hell it means when they say a spark can start a great fire. Is there time to change things?
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19:00 |
You can resell my kidney but never my liver
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Auction show |
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19:00PM to 19:30PM.
Alternative auction show in which contestants try to outbid each other for urgently needed organs.
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19:30 |
I'd kill for a new home
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Quiz show |
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19:30PM to 20:00PM.
The innovative Chinese quiz show makes its debut on western screens. Watch as families commit homicide in order to win the star prize - a stylish second hand motor home.
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20:00 |
The only way to win is not to play
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Quiz show |
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20:00PM to 20:30PM. Available only for recording to VHS or Betamax.
Armageddon reality show in which contestants' brain patterns control the missile defence system at NORAD.
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20:30 |
Billie Newman is a complete shit
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Comedy Series |
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20:30PM to 21:00PM.
Comedian Billie Newman walks around the various pubs of Liverpool, irritating people without pause until they say the phrase "Billie Newman is a complete shit".
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Tony has flashbacks to topless bathing. As someone reveals the smell coming from next door, herbivores bury everything in the sand, and wonders what it would be like to go around growing a moustache. The trouble with sellotaping the letterbox shut each night before bed begins to change the overall effect of the bass guitars. And you still watch this stuff?
Contains mild language and scenes of lactation.
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21:00 |
The amazing secretions of Patricia Potts
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Comedy Series |
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21:00PM to 22:00PM.
Everyone has tremendous secretions, but Patricia is different to everyone else. Hers are magical!
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Logic takes the high road in this action fraught drama. Everyone wonders what horrors will be next. Will Leanna McPherson discover the truth about what happens when not growing a beard? When playing with people's emotions, sometimes you've got to really push the boat out.
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22:00 |
The bastards 'ate my guts
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Science Fiction Series |
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22:00PM to 22:30PM.
British sci-fi hilarity characterised by poor diction.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Cynthia wonders what it would be like to go around bathing in asses milk. Six hundred and seventy two creepy dolls died in the making of this episode. As the proverb states: his eyes are bigger than his belly. Docile sweaty dogs think more clearly with alcohol in their systems.
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22:30 |
If it doesn't squeal then it doesn't feel pain
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Food / drink show |
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22:30PM to 23:00PM.
Crustacean surgery masquerading as cookery, with Jessica Downs
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23:00 |
Slug it out with slugger
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Food / drink show |
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23:00PM to 23:30PM. Record option unavailable, because your remote's batteries are low
When gardens attack: this series explores what happens when slugs take over local gardens and the residents attempt to fight back.
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23:30 |
Upload your life, bitches
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Current / consumer affairs |
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23:30PM to 00:00AM.
Facebook and Twitter executives laughing in front of the camera. That's it.
Contains material that might make you think whether it's a good idea to upload your life and everyone you know to strangers.
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Titanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy
George W Bush to Take Over as the New Host of The Price is Right and Finally Find the Weapons of Mass Destruction
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