BBC parody of TV schedule for Tuesday, 4th March 2025

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Tuesday, 4th March 2025

Today's TV schedule

BeebTV4

18:00	The Thompsons	Cartoon Series
	18:00PM to 18:30PM. Heavily caricatured family with a wife-beating husband, loving mother, one naughty child and one know-it-all child, all attempt to live harmoniously. Episode details: Season 1, Ep. 1: Michael knows that the truth will be too painful for Saundra. Dancing at the school fete doesn't bother Michael as much as it did Saundra. Everyone wonders what horrors will be next. What does this even mean? View more details
18:30	Where grown men go to cry/masturbate	Cartoon Series
	18:30PM to 19:00PM. Hilarious "adults only" cartoon that only children or the pathetic will watch. Episode details: Season 1, Ep. 1: Can George face the truth about growing a moustache? Everyone wonders what horrors will be next. A new arrival comes to visit. Nobody knows, and nobody cares. What will the neighbours say? View more details
19:00	You can resell my kidney but never my liver	Auction show
	19:00PM to 19:30PM. Alternative auction show in which contestants try to outbid each other for urgently needed organs. View more details
19:30	I'd kill for a new home	Quiz show
	19:30PM to 20:00PM. The innovative Chinese quiz show makes its debut on western screens. Watch as families commit homicide in order to win the star prize - a stylish second hand motor home. View more details
20:00	The only way to win is not to play	Quiz show
	20:00PM to 20:30PM. Available only for recording to VHS or Betamax. Armageddon reality show in which contestants' brain patterns control the missile defence system at NORAD. View more details
20:30	Billie Newman is a complete shit	Comedy Series
	20:30PM to 21:00PM. Comedian Billie Newman walks around the various pubs of Liverpool, irritating people without pause until they say the phrase "Billie Newman is a complete shit". Episode details: Season 1, Ep. 1: As someone somehow discovers the past, wet noodles uncover the secrets of the universe. It occurs to Tony that testing the bath only after the baby has gone in is probably not for the best, and he decides to eat all the food. Woodchuck has been chucked. Contains mild language and scenes of lactation. View more details
21:00	The amazing secretions of Patricia Potts	Comedy Series
	21:00PM to 22:00PM. Everyone has tremendous secretions, but Patricia is different to everyone else. Hers are magical! Episode details: Season 1, Ep. 1: Someone all. Will Leanna confess to Paul about polishing shoes with goat urine? Leanna wonders what it would be like to go around presenting neighbours with signed copies of their own photographs. View more details
22:00	The bastards 'ate my guts	Science Fiction Series
	22:00PM to 22:30PM. British sci-fi hilarity characterised by poor diction. Episode details: Season 1, Ep. 1: Everything seems to change with someone toasting bread on the radiators. A new arrival comes to visit. Cynthia Ayers considers the moral rights and wrongs of milking the situation for all it's worth. Docile sweaty dogs think more clearly with alcohol in their systems. View more details
22:30	If it doesn't squeal then it doesn't feel pain	Food / drink show
	22:30PM to 23:00PM. Crustacean surgery masquerading as cookery, with Jessica Downs View more details
23:00	Slug it out with slugger	Food / drink show
	23:00PM to 23:30PM. Record option unavailable, because your remote's batteries are low When gardens attack: this series explores what happens when slugs take over local gardens and the residents attempt to fight back. View more details
23:30	Upload your life, bitches	Current / consumer affairs
	23:30PM to 00:00AM. Facebook and Twitter executives laughing in front of the camera. That's it. Contains material that might make you think whether it's a good idea to upload your life and everyone you know to strangers. View more details

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