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18:00 |
The Thompsons
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Cartoon Series |
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18:00PM to 18:30PM.
Heavily caricatured family with a wife-beating husband, loving mother, one naughty child and one know-it-all child, all attempt to live harmoniously.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: What is swallowed once, is never attempted again. As one door closes, another always opens. Why has nobody thought of this before?
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18:30 |
Where grown men go to cry/masturbate
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Cartoon Series |
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18:30PM to 19:00PM.
Hilarious "adults only" cartoon that only children or the pathetic will watch.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: George Whitehead threatens to marry the wrong person for the eighth time. Has no-one thought of this before?
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19:00 |
You can resell my kidney but never my liver
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Auction show |
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19:00PM to 19:30PM.
Alternative auction show in which contestants try to outbid each other for urgently needed organs.
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19:30 |
I'd kill for a new home
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Quiz show |
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19:30PM to 20:00PM.
The innovative Chinese quiz show makes its debut on western screens. Watch as families commit homicide in order to win the star prize - a stylish second hand motor home.
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20:00 |
The only way to win is not to play
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Quiz show |
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20:00PM to 20:30PM. Available only for recording to VHS or Betamax.
Armageddon reality show in which contestants' brain patterns control the missile defence system at NORAD.
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20:30 |
Billie Newman is a complete shit
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Comedy Series |
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20:30PM to 21:00PM.
Comedian Billie Newman walks around the various pubs of Liverpool, irritating people without pause until they say the phrase "Billie Newman is a complete shit".
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Six hundred and twenty five leprechauns died in the making of this episode. Tony might just regret growing a moustache. Someone's bound to notice this only happened once someone mentioned milking the situation for all it's worth.
Contains mild language and scenes of lactation.
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21:00 |
The amazing secretions of Patricia Potts
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Comedy Series |
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21:00PM to 22:00PM.
Everyone has tremendous secretions, but Patricia is different to everyone else. Hers are magical!
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Leanna has flashbacks to going for a long walk. The standard of everything falls from now on. When was your birthday, pretty eyes?
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22:00 |
The bastards 'ate my guts
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Science Fiction Series |
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22:00PM to 22:30PM.
British sci-fi hilarity characterised by poor diction.
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 1: Nobody knows, and nobody cares. Logic takes the high road in this action fraught drama. What did happen last episode, anyway? Is this the same plotline we used last year?
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22:30 |
If it doesn't squeal then it doesn't feel pain
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Food / drink show |
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22:30PM to 23:00PM.
Crustacean surgery masquerading as cookery, with Jessica Downs
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23:00 |
Slug it out with slugger
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Food / drink show |
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23:00PM to 23:30PM. Record option unavailable, because your remote's batteries are low
When gardens attack: this series explores what happens when slugs take over local gardens and the residents attempt to fight back.
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23:30 |
Upload your life, bitches
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Current / consumer affairs |
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23:30PM to 00:00AM.
Facebook and Twitter executives laughing in front of the camera. That's it.
Contains material that might make you think whether it's a good idea to upload your life and everyone you know to strangers.
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Titanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy
George W Bush to Take Over as the New Host of The Price is Right and Finally Find the Weapons of Mass Destruction
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