Before his funeral meats could go cold, some herbert has gone and slapped a collection of the great John Motson's sheepskin coats on eBay. Motson's, "Motty", was and is well known for his employment of said coats, often camel coloured, on particularly cold nights in Stoke. However, unlike Messi, he was still well-able to withstand the cold and perform beautifully with ripe expressions such as "He did do well there" and "Giggs, on his left".
eBay have yet to respond to Laughsend's request for comments, but we did speak to someone from the popular service station Tebay about the debacle.
"Well, it's a debacle, isn't it? The voice of football deserves a better send off than some scruffy oiks probably from the BBC's backroom staff having swiped his jackets and flogging them cheap. It's a disgrace. But good thing about Tebay is that you can get a black pudding Scotch egg that'll put a smile back on your face. Only eight quid. Big as a child's head. Bargain."
Motson's death has drawn huge sympathy from those he's worked with over the years, including Gary Linekar, Ian Wright, and White-gloved Seaman.