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Japanese start-up to sell used female gym bike seats

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Japanese start-up company Tentacle-Insertion-Company (TIC) has issued a press release today hailing their latest product: the used gym bicycle seat. Lucky members of a kickstarter project launched in early April are set to receive a guaranteed padded gym seat, sat and sweated on by the unmentionable female anatomy.

The project started as the brainchild of Richard Branson (no relation) who envisioned a future in which non-gym goers could still experience the sweat and toil of exercisers. Initial product suggestions included vials of sweat which could be purchased, along with a teat-pipette, to douse themselves during a particularly hot masturbation session. After launching with the product, it was quickly withdrawn after serial murderers began to use the liquid to confuse crime scene investigators.

This latest product seems set to wow the crowds, featuring a guaranteed stink of female 'glow' on the luxurious foam padded exterior.

"I'm buying one as we speak," said Massimo Erk, who we found at the skateboard park. "It sounds great. I love a good bit of sweaty box."

Business analysts, however, are skeptical about the product, suggesting that it may be too easy for copycat companies to set up, possibly with subverted intentions. Greg Park, owner of The Daily Doughnut, told us:

"It sounds great, until you discover in the media the following day that your package was actually sat on by a burly, bearded Scottish bloke called Dennis, who had beans for lunch that day."

TIC stocks are non-existent, so we can't tell you whether the share prices moved at all. Sorry.

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Comments

#1 @ 3 years ago
by Bat-Winter7 - Ghost

If I fall asleep at any time, you'll want to... I dont know. :-)

2 comments, registered 3 years ago
#2 @ 3 years ago
by Bushes Chamois - Quiet veteran

Enjoyed it. I ca not agree more with this.

24 comments, registered 5 years ago
#3 @ 3 years ago
by RainJelly7 - Ghost

i too like to say things.

3 comments, registered 5 years ago
#4 @ 3 years ago
by front string - Quiet veteran

Ha!

36 comments, registered 5 years ago
#5 @ 3 years ago
by Madison Ball - Writer

RainJelly7 wrote

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1 comment, registered 3 years ago
#6 @ 3 years ago
by Bushes Chamois - Quiet veteran

Mball1 wrote

RainJelly7 wrote

i too like to say things.

Whatevr you say, charlie. Oh for th love of frank.

Now listen here you little idiots... :)

24 comments, registered 5 years ago
#7 @ 3 years ago
by thought toad - Ghost

Bushes Chamois wrote

Mball1 wrote

RainJelly7 wrote

i too like to say things.

Whatevr you say, charlie. Oh for th love of frank.

Now listen here you little idiots... :)

WELL, I LAUGHED. :)

4 comments, registered 5 years ago

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