Japanese start-up company Tentacle-Insertion-Company (TIC) has issued a press release today hailing their latest product: the used gym bicycle seat. Lucky members of a kickstarter project launched in early April are set to receive a guaranteed padded gym seat, sat and sweated on by the unmentionable female anatomy.
The project started as the brainchild of Richard Branson (no relation) who envisioned a future in which non-gym goers could still experience the sweat and toil of exercisers. Initial product suggestions included vials of sweat which could be purchased, along with a teat-pipette, to douse themselves during a particularly hot masturbation session. After launching with the product, it was quickly withdrawn after serial murderers began to use the liquid to confuse crime scene investigators.
This latest product seems set to wow the crowds, featuring a guaranteed stink of female 'glow' on the luxurious foam padded exterior.
"I'm buying one as we speak," said Massimo Erk, who we found at the skateboard park. "It sounds great. I love a good bit of sweaty box."
Business analysts, however, are skeptical about the product, suggesting that it may be too easy for copycat companies to set up, possibly with subverted intentions. Greg Park, owner of The Daily Doughnut, told us:
"It sounds great, until you discover in the media the following day that your package was actually sat on by a burly, bearded Scottish bloke called Dennis, who had beans for lunch that day."
TIC stocks are non-existent, so we can't tell you whether the share prices moved at all. Sorry.