Jeff Bezos Strikes Again: Amazon Customers Squarely In Crosshairs of Latest Fashion Scandal

London - It seems like there's never a dull moment when it comes to Jeff Bezos and his ever-evolving online marketplace behemoth, Amazon. The latest news on the street is that some savagely sly scammers have been hoodwinking hapless Amazon customers by slipping them substandard scarves along with their purchases.

Reports from the British tabloids indicate that many Amazon customers have been taken aback by the shoddy quality of the scarves they received. Some of the shocked customers have been quoted as saying, "I can get better quality scarves by feeding Wendy's chili to my cat" and "These scarves are so poor, even my grandma wouldn't wear them if she was stranded in Siberia." The catchphrase of the moment around London is "Amazon Prime, not Amazon Quality."

Amazon officials have promised swift action as soon as they stop laughing. "We're not happy about this situation," said one executive who wished to remain anonymous. "But we're not unhappy either. We'll deal with the problem as soon as we stop rolling on the floor in hysterics." When asked what Amazon's plan to rectify the situation is, he responded, "We'll make sure that next time our customers get a completely different item than what they actually ordered."

The scandal deepens, however, when it's revealed that some celebs may be involved. Rumors are flying that many a high-profile Londoner may have been unwittingly caught up in this scarf scandal. One well-known diva, said to be a big Amazon fan, was heard shouting, "Amazoff my back with these scarves, I'm not in the mood." Another celeb, known for his trendsetting fashion sense, was overheard muttering, "These scarves are so bad, they make Piers Morgan look good."

The plot thickens even further when it's discovered that some enterprising scalawags have been making a killing selling bootleg Amazon branded scarves on the black market. These imitation scarves, while not of high quality, are selling like hotcakes to fans of the brand. "I paid an arm and a leg for this scarf," said one satisfied customer. "But it's all worth it to show off my allegiance to the world's most powerful retailer." Catchphrase of the day? "I'd rather have a counterfeit Amazon scarf than a real one."

In the midst of all the uproar, a local scarf museum curator weighed in with his expert opinion. "These scarves are a travesty," he exclaimed. "In my 30 years in the scarf business, I've never seen such lackluster threads. They're more suitable for polishing your shoes than keeping your neck warm."

So, it seems that the Amazon scarf scandal is here to stay. As one Londoner put it, "If you want top-notch scarves, go to Harrods. If you want a good laugh, go to Amazon." All we can say for now is, stay tuned for further developments. And if you do decide to buy an Amazon scarf, use it as a cleaning cloth instead.