The Stone of Destiny decides to grace southerners with its presence at long last - northerners not impressed

In a move that has shocked and outraged Scots everywhere, the fabled Stone of Destiny has announced that it will be heading south for the coronation of Prince William in a few months' time.

The sacred rock, which has always resided in Edinburgh Castle, is said to contain magical powers and has long been regarded as one of Scotland's most treasured possessions.

But it seems that the lure of the south was too strong for the stone to resist, and it has decided to make the long journey to Westminster Abbey to witness the coronation of the future king.

Speaking to reporters outside Edinburgh Castle, the Stone of Destiny said: "I have always been curious about the south, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to explore a new part of the country. Besides, who wouldn't want to be present at such a historic event?"

But many Scots have reacted angrily to the news, with some saying that the stone is abandoning its duty to protect Scotland and its people.

"Typical stone, always looking out for itself", said local resident Billy McTavish. "I hope it comes back covered in pigeon shite".

Others, however, have welcomed the move, saying that it's about time the rest of the country got to see what all the fuss is about.

"I'm glad the stone is getting out and about", said English music icon Sting, for some reason. "I've heard a lot about it over the years and I'm looking forward to getting up close and personal with it".

The news has also sparked rumours that various celebrities may be involved in the coronation ceremony, with some suggesting that Beyonce and Jay-Z may be performing a special rendition of "God Save the Queen", using the Stone of Destiny as an instrument.

When asked about these rumours, Beyonce said: "I can't confirm anything, but let's just say that the stone will be getting a work out".

So, it seems that the Stone of Destiny is set for quite an adventure as it heads south to London. Whether it will return to its rightful place in Scotland remains to be seen, but one thing is for sure: this stone is not to be messed with. As the famous Scottish saying goes, "If ye mess with the stone, ye get a cracked skull".