Stories Archive by Month - October
The following satire and parody are past stories, displayed here for your browsing archive pleasure.
Major League Baseball To Convert Weak Teams To Fantasy Franchises
MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin. With the regular season over, Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig today announced a bold plan to revitalize ailing teams by converting them into 'fantasy' franchises, thereby avoiding big payroll costs for we...
Memo For Congressmen Wishing To Take A Page Home
Rule modification 405567. Approved 2 October 2006. Members of Congress wishing to take a Congressional page home for the evening will have to submit a request to House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R) for approval. ..
Fossilized Feces of Jesus Wreaks Havoc
By Ion Zwitter, Avant News EditorHoly See, August 29, 2020The recent discovery of a fossilized lump of human feces believed to have once emerged from the body of Jesus Christ, Son...
Mayor's Nazi Jibe Appeal Claims Red Card Is Cruel/unusual
London - (Associated Mess): Lawyers acting for the Mayor of London are appealing in the High Court today against a February ruling suspending Ken Livingstone from office after a Jewish press reporter had objected to...
Khameini Nixes Masturbation During Ramadan, Lopping Off Jewish Heads Still Permitted
Supreme Iranian Leader Sayyid Ali Khameini has recently decreed that deliberate masturbation during the holy month of Ramadan is not allowed under Islamic law. When Khameini had a question regarding that time-honored pleasure practice posed...
UN Moves To Ban Musical Torture By US And Allies
GENEVA, Switzerland. Louise Arbour, United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights, today expressed 'grave concern' over what she called 'Top-40 Torture' by the U.S. and its allies after receiving a report that the music of...
War On Terra: Bush Convenes School Violence Summit
Washington DC - (Associated Mess): The Bush Administration is reportedly so alarmed at the dearth of armed pupils in US public schools that it is convening a top level meeting to discuss policy initiatives for...
Mark Foley Goes Into Rehab, Awarded Medal of Freedom
(Washington D.C.) Ucs News, unconfirmed Sources report the former Republican accused of sending pornographic emails to underage boys has been awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom. President George W. Bush met...
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