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"Rich people are happy" claims woman

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An anonymous woman has today claimed that, contrary to all popular understanding, rich people have no right to be "unhappy". In the last few years it has become de rigeur to explore the theme that people who have lots of money are actually desperately unhappy people.

From the land-owning squires who claim that "it costs a lot to keep this 7,000 acre plot of land going, you know", to the new lottery winner who suggests that "it's hard not to get depressed when life changes so much", it seems that modern life has proven riches to be a source of great depression and difficulty. Anonymous woman, Cherryyll Boston, has gone on record as saying that these points of view are without merit:

"It's actually insulting. If you have a great deal of money then it's not appropriate to assume that your hardships are anything other than self-imposed. If you run a successful business and you're rich, and you've become incredibly stressed, then retire! Take your money and run - if you still want to work then do something you enjoy!"

After a quick drink and a bile-sandwich, the anonymous Mrs Boston continues:

"If you're a lottery winner and you're upset at your fairweather friends, then boo-hoo. You have no right to demand in any way that life is unfair when you have beaten the odds and been given a gift that is far beyond what anyone can hope for in normal life situations.

"If you're 'old money' with a large house and plots of land - you know perfectly well that you can sell it and live extremely comfortably elsewhere. Complaining about the costs of running an old house that needs repairs is like complaining about owning a slightly scuffed gold bar. These people are all pathetic, and should try living in the real world where you genuinely have to starve in order to make sure your family is fed, and worry every day about how cold it might be that night because you're afraid of how much it will cost by turning on the heating."

This weeks' television schedules show four documentaries being shown, describing the growing difficulties being faced by the overprivileged.

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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