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Woman fined for cleaning pavement outside her house

story image about To be fair, it was very dirty
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A British woman has been arrested and subsequently fined £415 for cleaning the pavement outside her own house. Margaret Reynolds, 27, was caught on Monday morning, sweeping the detritus of a Saturday night from the pavement, which included a polystyrene container of kebab meat and chips, and a half dozen cigarette butts. A worker for Foxbury Council spotted her attempts and immediately reported her to the police, who subsequently arrested and issued a spot fine.

Foxbury Council have since released a statement declaring:

"Mrs Reynolds was, by way of her actions, endangering the people on her street by attempting to clean the pavement in a way that isn't sanctioned by the council. Foxbury Council have a duty to ensure that only sanctioned and trained servicepersons are used to tidy public walkspaces. Mrs Reynold's actions were a clear violation of that duty, and we have decided to press for the full fine allowable by law."

Reynolds herself unfortunately declined to comment but the council worker who called the police on her, Jonny Simmons, 56, told us:

"It's for her own good. Here she was, milling away like someone who wanted the front of her house looking clean. And I'm stood there thinking 'Bloody do-gooders - they'll do me out of a job here!'. I didn't have no choice, I had to dob her in with the filth. Course the council reckoned that it was a health and safety issue because I'm trained to clean the path and she ain't, but personally I just wanted to see her get what was coming to her."

This story follows on from last week's attempts by Foxbury Council to evict a man who owns his own home, and the draining of a council swimming pool in order to save people from drowning.





The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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Comments

#1 @ 11 years ago
by amelie - Quiet veteran

go fuck a doorknob, you tat.

19 comments, registered 12 years ago
#2 @ 11 years ago
by corinne_mccarty-mclean - Quiet veteran

Who very much wrote this - someone with chunks missing from their head? What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

11 comments, registered 12 years ago
#3 @ 11 years ago
by k_cherry - Ghost

corinne_mccarty-mclean wrote

Who very much wrote this - someone with chunks missing from their head? What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

Here is the clear master of deflecting attention.

3 comments, registered 12 years ago
#4 @ 11 years ago
by NECK ANGER7 - Ghost

corinne_mccarty-mclean wrote

Who very much wrote this - someone with chunks missing from their head? What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

that's what she said. :)

2 comments, registered 12 years ago
#5 @ 11 years ago
by Infected Mushroom123 - Ghost

corinne_mccarty-mclean wrote

Who very much wrote this - someone with chunks missing from their head? What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

ooops, rong post! :)

3 comments, registered 12 years ago
#6 @ 11 years ago
by corinne_mccarty-mclean - Quiet veteran

NECK ANGER7 wrote

corinne_mccarty-mclean wrote

Who very much wrote this - someone with chunks missing from their head? What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

that's what she said. :)

Hey - I thought it was perfect. :)

11 comments, registered 12 years ago
#7 @ 11 years ago
by BRAVEHEART - One-off wonder

NECK ANGER7 wrote

corinne_mccarty-mclean wrote

Who very much wrote this - someone with chunks missing from their head? What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

that's what she said. :)

This is the quite solidest peice of poop I've ever read. Now listen here you little fuckers... :)

1 comment, registered 12 years ago
#8 @ 11 years ago
by Oil-Whistle - Ghost

NECK ANGER7 wrote

corinne_mccarty-mclean wrote

Who very much wrote this - someone with chunks missing from their head? What a waste of everyone's time, effort and energy. :(.

that's what she said. :)

liked it. absolutely spot on.

4 comments, registered 12 years ago

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