Business and financial guru slash expert Donald Trump has today announced his personal findings that "sex sells". The extraordinary pronouncement comes as the latest figures for the Presidential Election campaign show a slight fall in what has otherwise been a meteoric rise for the republican. Some commentators have suggested that Trump's latest announcement is perhaps an attempt to stem that flow away from him.
"It's a curious thing," said Alice Walker, mom of thirteen. "It's a bit like those leaflets that say 'Sex! Now that I've got your attention, please come to church'. I have this weird sneaking suspicion that he's saying these things just to get some attention. It's never worked before, so I can't see it working now."
Trump, who owes his success to hard work and honest thinkin', claims to have struck upon his latest nugget during a sleepover at a friend's house. The concept of sexualised content and reaching out to hormones has never previously been suggested in business or marketing, and Trump claims that this new way of thinking could change the world.
"It came to me in a flash," said the Sex-Seller. "I realised that sex sells. I mean, sex-cells sell sex, don't they? So it makes sense that sex-cells sell sex on the seashore. It's classic."
When interrogated further for explanation, Trump sadly claimed that his medication was due for a top up, and then clicked at us rapidly with his tongue for approximately four minutes.