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Musicians invent doppler music

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Musicians and techno-science graduates from Melonball College University have developed a new form of music specifically designed to be played from moving vehicles. The newly invented form of music, that they dub Doppler Music, is actually fairly common to the streets of the world, most often in the form of Doppler Rap, and usually involves a group of youths with their car windows ajar, playing music at clearly uncomfortable levels, and where possible causing the windows to bend. However, the Melonball graduates have designed their music, and a special stereo to play it, to properly bend the frequency of the music according to the speed of travel, and the distance bystanders are from it.

"It's all enormously complicated, and I doubt that your readership will understand it," said head graduate Marco Polo. "But basically it involves using tweet shifters and aero-gravity wells, along with lasers and divining rods. These are all employed in a pattern that simulates a cancelling effect from traditional doppler shift. Just to be clear here: I am your readership; I have no idea how this stuff works. I strongly suspect it doesn't, but the college needed the publicity."

The music, ready for sale on iTunes and other online music stores, is said to consist of mainly heavy bass laden tracks, with plenty of swearing that most people would find hearing either uncomfortable, or arousing, and possibly in equal measure. The first few tracks available are:

  • Going to f*ck you up so well you'll like it - DJ Rango
  • THREATENING NOISES - Dangergrouse
  • That was my favorite hole - Papal Tendencies
  • Dancing with my gender - Patsy Incline
  • My Christmas Gyno - Randy Chocolate
  • Tattooed arms to cradle pieces of your head - Biscuit lovers

 

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