US News Entertainment

Musicians invent doppler music

story image about Doppler? I hardly know her!
Report story

Musicians and techno-science graduates from Melonball College University have developed a new form of music specifically designed to be played from moving vehicles. The newly invented form of music, that they dub Doppler Music, is actually fairly common to the streets of the world, most often in the form of Doppler Rap, and usually involves a group of youths with their car windows ajar, playing music at clearly uncomfortable levels, and where possible causing the windows to bend. However, the Melonball graduates have designed their music, and a special stereo to play it, to properly bend the frequency of the music according to the speed of travel, and the distance bystanders are from it.

"It's all enormously complicated, and I doubt that your readership will understand it," said head graduate Marco Polo. "But basically it involves using tweet shifters and aero-gravity wells, along with lasers and divining rods. These are all employed in a pattern that simulates a cancelling effect from traditional doppler shift. Just to be clear here: I am your readership; I have no idea how this stuff works. I strongly suspect it doesn't, but the college needed the publicity."

The music, ready for sale on iTunes and other online music stores, is said to consist of mainly heavy bass laden tracks, with plenty of swearing that most people would find hearing either uncomfortable, or arousing, and possibly in equal measure. The first few tracks available are:

  • Going to f*ck you up so well you'll like it - DJ Rango
  • THREATENING NOISES - Dangergrouse
  • That was my favorite hole - Papal Tendencies
  • Dancing with my gender - Patsy Incline
  • My Christmas Gyno - Randy Chocolate
  • Tattooed arms to cradle pieces of your head - Biscuit lovers


Get Weekly Funny Stuff in your Inbox

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter

Headlines like this

thumbnail for item Ice crystals

Vanilla Ice to start comeback tour in Iraq

World 0

As though in order to generate some sort of pun headline, Vanilla Ice is rumoured to begin his comeback tour accompanying ISIS troops in Northern Iraq. The star will allegedly...

read more
4 years ago
thumbnail for item Reaching for a hand print

Son of a preacher man arrested

World 0

Errol Joneson, son of eminent New York preacher Jones Joneson, was today arrested after complaints were made about him 'reaching' for women in subways. CCTV footage of one specific...

read more
4 years ago


This content hasn't made people froth at the mouth with comments yet. Why not be the first to add one?

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.

Funny stuff

Get our funny weekly newsletters straight to your inbox
Subscribe to funny newsletter
or Find out more first

Consider checking us out and following us on social media:

Pisces horoscope

The good and the great come together today and miss you entirely during all their endeavours. Which is a bit sad,......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

FIFA warns Russia ahead of World Cup   Cris Cyborg wants to fight winner of Nunes vs. Pennington in unification "super-bout"  
Create your own Laughsend story
Free sign up / Login
Funny newsletter Funny RSS feed