Vanilla Ice to start comeback tour in Iraq

As though in order to generate some sort of pun headline, Vanilla Ice is rumoured to begin his comeback tour accompanying ISIS troops in Northern Iraq. The star will allegedly perform variations of his hit singles, including "ISIS ISIS Baby..." which apparently is not blasphemous at all, and "Too cold" which has not been renamed for desert-irony reasons.

Music fan forum Bieber4Ever responded to the news:

"For those who don't know Vanilla Ice, he was like the original Justin Bieber. But now he's like an old guy, so whatevs. Lol! Cya Vanils."

Ice, real name Robert Matthew Van Winkle, is reported to be excited by the chance to tour again. Tour manager (but not Ice's tour manager) James Ricky, told us:

"This is a great opportunity to get back on the road. I mean, non literally of course, because everyone knows there aren't any roads in Iraq because America bombed them all. But seriously - a crowd is a crowd. I'm not sure how many MP3s he'll sell, but you just never know. Underneath all that burqa-ninja clothing, ISIS could be rocking some serious iPod/iPhone grooves, perhaps even with chunky beats headsets."

If the rumours are true, it will shock the nation, at least partially because surely no-one can imagine Ice having a successful career again, in times where musical talent comes very secondary to being exceptionally pretty.