Album charts to be replaced with lucky dip

Global music is set to unveil a sea change in the methods currently used to rank popularity of albums. Arbitrarily appointed music chiefs have determined that future album charts will be generated by way of 'lucky dip', rendering obsolete the current method of ranking albums by popularity.

The move has thus far gained little traction in the musical world, with some fans and artists decrying the move as "stupid".

"Yeah, it's pretty stupid," claimed one music lover who claimed to have several albums on vinyl. "But then, ignoring downloaded music in the charts for so long was pretty stupid too. Quite frankly, nothing would surprise me of these dinosaur institutions, who embrace change in the same way I'd embrace a human-size spider."

Artists, too, put the boot into the idea. Frank Miclack of group The Floozies Without Burdensome Morals gave us his reaction:

"Our last album ranked 14th in the first week after release, and we were very pleased with that, considering we wrote it in a weekend and got a bunch of jobseekers to actually record it for us. But no, this idea doesn't work for me. Pot luck in music? Pah, I've never heard anything so daft. All success in music, and every walk of life, is to do with hard work. Luck doesn't come into it. Nor does having an already famous family member."

The chart system change is ready to take effect in the first week June, so prepare whatever part of your body needs preparing for it.