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Beatles to temporarily reform

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The remaining members of popular band The Beatles are set to temporarily reform for a one-off gig to be played in London's o2 arena later this month. Ringo Starr, and the actor who has played Paul McCartney for the past fifty years, will join together for a thirty minute session playing hits such as Hey Jude, Yellow Submarine and 99 Problems.

The news has been warmly received throughout the right-thinking world, with folk as far adrift as Northern Ireland and The Virgin Islands said to be hugely excited by the prospect of seeing The Beatles play live for the first time.

"It's a real joy," said Stella Beaucart from Jersey. "They are all my idols, and though John can't be here, we're all wishing him the speediest of recoveries. To be able to see them in their pomp is a genuine thrill. I hope it lasts."

Stella's father, who remembers hearing The Beatles from his own father's record collection, adds:

"Oh, no doubt it's a big deal. Some of these kids have only heard of Paul McCartney because of how often Wings records are sampled by proper musicians. I'm looking forward to not being able to get tickets because they've been reserved by corporate entities, or bought by scalps."

Sometimes called "The little-known Beatle", Starr's musical caché increased dramatically six months ago when "artist" Skrillex album-featured one of his more monotonous readings from Rev W Awdry's Thomas the Tank Engine.

Given Time, by Paul London Given Time, by Paul London

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Given Time, by Paul London

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