Popular deceased artists Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac Shakur are set to form a boy band, with the express intent of "becoming more popular than One Direction". Agents and managers for the two long-dead rappers have set out their aim to resurrect the two, along with Ol Dirty Bastard and Big L, in order to absolutely not make any more money for the deceased's estates.
"This has a pure moral motive," claimed Monay Shaneese, agent for Tupac's left arm. "We just want to make sure that Justin Bieber and One Direction, and their ilk, stop hogging the limelight with their crap. We need new music for a new generation, and what better way to achieve that than to literally dig up some old rappers, and have them form a boy band."
Fans of the rappers, having bought millions of dollars worth of music and merchandise since their deaths, have broadly welcomed the news, with many excited to see what they have to bring to the musical table. Evan Cartside, creator of the celebrity endorsed QVC product "The Tupac Shaker" (makes a frothy banana milkshake in just seven or eight minutes!) told us:
"There are some fans who think this might be another grubby attempt at merchandising and trying to make money. Nothing could, I'm sure, be further from the truth. Although some have suggested that unreleased material from the rappers has now run dry, let me counter that claim by saying: really? Is that your opinion?"
The boy band is yet to be given an official name, but following a whip round the office, the following suggestions were made:
- Big Shakur
- Notorious Tupac
- Large milkshake
- Heavy on the butter
- Sweet rider moustache stance
- Pocket stink
- Destiny's uncle
- One Destination
- Shots fired