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X-Factor bomb hoax cancels first episode

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Popular talent show X-Factor, due to start its seventieth season this evening, has been cancelled amidst earlier reports of a bomb threat. The reports have now been cleared up and the police are stating that the "threat" was actually a hoax, and - worse than that - a simple misunderstanding. It is now believed that Simon Cowell, the show's head guru person, was overheard saying that someone would be "fired" if tonight's episode didn't get top billing in the ratings, and that he was "ready to go off" for a burger.

"It's a simple misunderstanding," said Police Chief Brody of New Scotland Yard. "A man was overheard using common vernacular, and a concerned member of the public called it in as a bomb threat. That the person who called in the threat was old, white and Christian, cannot be confirmed or denied. Nor can any rumours that the person was a bigger fan of Strictly Come Dancing."

Although live shows do not being on the X-Factor for several months, the show's producers nonetheless though it wiser to cancel the showing of the pre-recorded audition rounds that were due for showing this evening. However, some fans on Twitter and Facebook have suggested that the cancellation is a ruse of sorts, and that the showing will go ahead as planned - the suggestion being that the cancellation is the true hoax, and one that is intended to raise viewing figures.

"It's quite clever," said one analyst. "By saying it's being cancelled, all those who would never watch anything as plebian as the X-Factor show, will instead tune in to see what the replacement is. Then, like so much fine white powder, they'll be hooked and watch it to its inevitable Christmas final. Genuis, really."

The X-Factor final is due in the first week or two before Christmas, culminating in a shot as Christmas No. 1 single-although there will naturally be many mean-spirited attempts to undermine the contestant's success.





The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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Comments

#1 @ 10 years ago
by Blue 1981 - Ghost

OK.

8 comments, registered 10 years ago
#2 @ 10 years ago
by operation caterpillar123 - Quiet veteran

Blue 1981 wrote

OK.

Well, I laughed. :)

17 comments, registered 10 years ago
#3 @ 10 years ago
by edge_turn111 - Quiet veteran

operation caterpillar123 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

OK.

Well, I laughed. :)

Hey - this is great. Don't listen to the miserable people.

19 comments, registered 10 years ago
#4 @ 10 years ago
by divisionvoice - Ghost

edge_turn111 wrote

operation caterpillar123 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

OK.

Well, I laughed. :)

Hey - this is great. Don't listen to the miserable people.

There is nothing more offputting than people spouting about things they clearly know nothing about. :)

8 comments, registered 10 years ago
#5 @ 10 years ago
by Richard Adams - Quiet veteran

divisionvoice wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

operation caterpillar123 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

OK.

Well, I laughed. :)

Hey - this is great. Don't listen to the miserable people.

There is nothing more offputting than people spouting about things they clearly know nothing about. :)

SURE, WHY NOT.

27 comments, registered 10 years ago
#6 @ 10 years ago
by edge_turn111 - Quiet veteran

Richard Adams wrote

divisionvoice wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

operation caterpillar123 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

OK.

Well, I laughed. :)

Hey - this is great. Don't listen to the miserable people.

There is nothing more offputting than people spouting about things they clearly know nothing about. :)

SURE, WHY NOT.

Edited: sorry, wrong post! I thought it was funny. :)

19 comments, registered 10 years ago
#7 @ 10 years ago
by Richard Adams - Quiet veteran

edge_turn111 wrote

Richard Adams wrote

divisionvoice wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

operation caterpillar123 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

OK.

Well, I laughed. :)

Hey - this is great. Don't listen to the miserable people.

There is nothing more offputting than people spouting about things they clearly know nothing about. :)

SURE, WHY NOT.

Edited: sorry, wrong post! I thought it was funny. :)

I AM ABOUT AS HAPPY AS I CAN BE MADE. EFFECTIVE JOB. :)

27 comments, registered 10 years ago
#8 @ 10 years ago
by mink song1641 - Ghost

edge_turn111 wrote

Richard Adams wrote

divisionvoice wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

operation caterpillar123 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

OK.

Well, I laughed. :)

Hey - this is great. Don't listen to the miserable people.

There is nothing more offputting than people spouting about things they clearly know nothing about. :)

SURE, WHY NOT.

Edited: sorry, wrong post! I thought it was funny. :)

This is the best piece of work I've ever seen. There is some super stuff online, but this is incredibly curious.

4 comments, registered 10 years ago
#9 @ 10 years ago
by Richard Adams - Quiet veteran

edge_turn111 wrote

Richard Adams wrote

divisionvoice wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

operation caterpillar123 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

OK.

Well, I laughed. :)

Hey - this is great. Don't listen to the miserable people.

There is nothing more offputting than people spouting about things they clearly know nothing about. :)

SURE, WHY NOT.

Edited: sorry, wrong post! I thought it was funny. :)

I DID NOT READ THIS BECAUSE IT NEITHER IRRITATED NOR PLEASED ME. I ALSO MAKE OBVIOUS COMMENTS IN REAL LIFE. WHATEVER?

27 comments, registered 10 years ago
#10 @ 10 years ago
by divisionvoice - Ghost

edge_turn111 wrote

Richard Adams wrote

divisionvoice wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

operation caterpillar123 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

OK.

Well, I laughed. :)

Hey - this is great. Don't listen to the miserable people.

There is nothing more offputting than people spouting about things they clearly know nothing about. :)

SURE, WHY NOT.

Edited: sorry, wrong post! I thought it was funny. :)

Now listen here you little idiots... ace! A masterpiece.

8 comments, registered 10 years ago

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