Man has sex with horse; scandal as both enjoy it

Reports shamefully stolen by us from the BBC news website have today claimed that a man has had full sexual congress with a horse, with both reported to have enjoyed the experience. The man, so far unnamed for legal reasons, is said to be on the look out for further opportunities to hook up, with some even suggesting that marriage could be on the cards.

The BBC report failed to include details of the whereabouts of the man in question, who we are choosing to call Keith, but when we tracked down the IP address of an anonymous Twitter post, claiming to be from Keith himself, we discovered that it's likely he lives somewhere called Sky. If our general knowledge is right, that is an island somewhere off Scotland, and we used this detective work to harass our boss into giving us the expenses required to helicopter over there, but we were unable to find Keith anywhere we looked.

Meanwhile a minor scandal has erupted over the details of the story. While many are satisfied with the activity itself being relatively natural, some are concerned that the horse in question was also reported to have had a good time.

"Well, it's not natural, is it?" claimed Jordan Peterson, a housewife of several husbands. "I mean, what's next? My hoover getting sexually aroused by being pushed around? My toaster yelling 'Yes! Yes!' every time I pop some bread in it? It's not natural at all."

The horse, who also cannot be named for legal reasons, has not yet posted its own version of events to Twitter, much to the disappointment of everyone who wants to hear what the horse has to say about it.