Man wakes to find himself transformed into fish

Police have today revealed information regarding the disappearance of Gary Parkinson, 34, from Leeds, England. Mr Parkinson, who disappeared three weeks ago and sparked a national manhunt, has apparently been found in his own goldfish bowl.

Detective Sergent Mike Thewell told us:

"This is one of the more bizarre cases I've ever seen. Whilst forensics were going over his house again, they noticed that one of the fish had little boxer shorts on and a white t-shirt. As an experiment, we dropped a small piece of paper into the tank along with one of those NASA pens that work underwater - the goldfish soon wrote back to us:

​"Went to sleep one day, woke up as a goldfish. Nothing more to say. Feed me."

Doctors have confirmed that the goldfish is indeed Mr Parkinson and a reunion with his wife is currently underway.

She's been hanging about the lads during the investigation, looking for a little nookie. We're pleased in a way that Mr Parkinson is back with us. My back is killing me and I don't think any of us can successfully compete with a fish. I mean, he can get places that...well, let's leave it there shall we."