World Sport

Dodgeball banned! All sports teachers fired

story image about banned and dodgeball Banned for reducing children to tears for no good reason
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All sports teachers around the globe have today been fired, or "sacked", for forcing their pupils to play rough forms of dodgeball. The MPAARSVP (the body which governs such things) has banned all use of the game, and has recommended the sacking of any teachers associated with having ever used it - which effectively means all of them.

Dodgeball, featured in the eponymous hit docu-drama starring Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller, has oft been used as the playground staple of gym and sports teachers for decades. Not quite sure what to do today? Dodgeball. Raining outside? Dodgeball. Day ends with the letter y? Dodgeball.

"I can't say I'm surprised," one pupil at St David's told us. "It's a pretty mean spirited sport, and I once grazed my leg when trying to dodge a really whizzer of a shot from Fat Armstrong... that's my teacher's name."

This is not the first time the MPAARSVP has caused controversy by its actions. Last year they attempted to ban all shirts vs. skins matches, and once even suggested that making teenagers run outside in bafflingly cold tempratures was, perhaps, a little wrong.





The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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Comments

#1 @ 10 years ago
by Boundary-Direction - Ghost

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

7 comments, registered 10 years ago
#2 @ 10 years ago
by RexBolton64 - Ghost

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

:)

5 comments, registered 10 years ago
#3 @ 10 years ago
by Boundary-Direction - Ghost

RexBolton64 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

:)

i can't agree more with thi. if this doesn't become a meme then the world has gone truly mad.

7 comments, registered 10 years ago
#4 @ 10 years ago
by doughumphrey - Ghost

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

This is sheer nasty. Tos's.

4 comments, registered 10 years ago
#5 @ 10 years ago
by front string - Quiet veteran

Boundary-Direction wrote

RexBolton64 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

:)

i can't agree more with thi. if this doesn't become a meme then the world has gone truly mad.

Good morning sunshine.

36 comments, registered 10 years ago
#6 @ 10 years ago
by S Church1 - Quiet veteran

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

15 comments, registered 10 years ago
#7 @ 10 years ago
by Blue 1981 - Ghost

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

8 comments, registered 10 years ago
#8 @ 10 years ago
by foleyd7 - Ghost

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

This is the best poop I've ever seen online. Loved it.

:)

9 comments, registered 10 years ago
#9 @ 10 years ago
by WILLIAMDUKE7 - Quiet veteran

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

i've read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that.

12 comments, registered 10 years ago
#10 @ 10 years ago
by square-match - Ghost

WILLIAMDUKE7 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

i've read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that.

You make my groin fiery. I'm about as happy as I can be made.

7 comments, registered 10 years ago
#11 @ 10 years ago
by S Church1 - Quiet veteran

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

And your point is? I didn't read this because it neither offended nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. :)

15 comments, registered 10 years ago
#12 @ 10 years ago
by Blue 1981 - Ghost

WILLIAMDUKE7 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

i've read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that.

There are sum gorgeous article's to make me cry - and this is the most retarded.

;)

8 comments, registered 10 years ago
#13 @ 10 years ago
by Blue 1981 - Ghost

S Church1 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

And your point is? I didn't read this because it neither offended nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. :)

You are ridiculously correct. You are beautiful.

8 comments, registered 10 years ago
#14 @ 10 years ago
by edge_turn111 - Quiet veteran

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

And your point is? I didn't read this because it neither offended nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. :)

You are ridiculously correct. You are beautiful.

I very much enjoy the things on this website.

19 comments, registered 10 years ago
#15 @ 10 years ago
by Existence Guide - Ghost

edge_turn111 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

And your point is? I didn't read this because it neither offended nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. :)

You are ridiculously correct. You are beautiful.

I very much enjoy the things on this website.

I cant decide whether I should find out when your next on holiday, take the week off, find out where you live, and spend a full seven days eating adly, and then shitting on everything you own. None of that makes any sense.

:(.

3 comments, registered 10 years ago
#16 @ 10 years ago
by square-match - Ghost

edge_turn111 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

And your point is? I didn't read this because it neither offended nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. :)

You are ridiculously correct. You are beautiful.

I very much enjoy the things on this website.

Funny, I took a shit last night and it looked pretty much like this.

7 comments, registered 10 years ago
#17 @ 10 years ago
by foleyd7 - Ghost

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

And your point is? I didn't read this because it neither offended nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. :)

You are ridiculously correct. You are beautiful.

If I fall asleep at any time, youll want to...

9 comments, registered 10 years ago
#18 @ 10 years ago
by Ip Man19 - Ghost

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

Imho - this is totally super.

2 comments, registered 10 years ago
#19 @ 10 years ago
by edge_turn111 - Quiet veteran

square-match wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

And your point is? I didn't read this because it neither offended nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. :)

You are ridiculously correct. You are beautiful.

I very much enjoy the things on this website.

Funny, I took a shit last night and it looked pretty much like this.

I just don't get it.

19 comments, registered 10 years ago
#20 @ 10 years ago
by cheese war1978 - Quiet veteran

Existence Guide wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

And your point is? I didn't read this because it neither offended nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. :)

You are ridiculously correct. You are beautiful.

I very much enjoy the things on this website.

I cant decide whether I should find out when your next on holiday, take the week off, find out where you live, and spend a full seven days eating adly, and then shitting on everything you own. None of that makes any sense.

:(.

THERE ARE PLENTY OF LUSH STUFF CRAWLING AROUND, BUT THIS TAKES THE BISCUIT. EDITED: SORRY, WRONG POST!

:)

12 comments, registered 10 years ago
#21 @ 10 years ago
by Fleetwood Mac7 - Ghost

cheese war1978 wrote

Existence Guide wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

And your point is? I didn't read this because it neither offended nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. :)

You are ridiculously correct. You are beautiful.

I very much enjoy the things on this website.

I cant decide whether I should find out when your next on holiday, take the week off, find out where you live, and spend a full seven days eating adly, and then shitting on everything you own. None of that makes any sense.

:(.

THERE ARE PLENTY OF LUSH STUFF CRAWLING AROUND, BUT THIS TAKES THE BISCUIT. EDITED: SORRY, WRONG POST!

:)

I don't really understand... and yet I do understan. I don't know.

3 comments, registered 10 years ago
#22 @ 10 years ago
by ABARAJAS7 - Ghost

edge_turn111 wrote

square-match wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

And your point is? I didn't read this because it neither offended nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. :)

You are ridiculously correct. You are beautiful.

I very much enjoy the things on this website.

Funny, I took a shit last night and it looked pretty much like this.

I just don't get it.

I've laughed, I've cried, I've lived... and I've died. But this still beats all those experiences.

9 comments, registered 10 years ago
#23 @ 10 years ago
by WILLIAMDUKE7 - Quiet veteran

square-match wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

And your point is? I didn't read this because it neither offended nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. :)

You are ridiculously correct. You are beautiful.

I very much enjoy the things on this website.

Funny, I took a shit last night and it looked pretty much like this.

this rocks my world.

12 comments, registered 10 years ago
#24 @ 10 years ago
by team_zebra1076 - Ghost

cheese war1978 wrote

Existence Guide wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

And your point is? I didn't read this because it neither offended nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. :)

You are ridiculously correct. You are beautiful.

I very much enjoy the things on this website.

I cant decide whether I should find out when your next on holiday, take the week off, find out where you live, and spend a full seven days eating adly, and then shitting on everything you own. None of that makes any sense.

:(.

THERE ARE PLENTY OF LUSH STUFF CRAWLING AROUND, BUT THIS TAKES THE BISCUIT. EDITED: SORRY, WRONG POST!

:)

not sure about this one. there's no way this could be correct. :)

2 comments, registered 10 years ago
#25 @ 10 years ago
by Echo & the Bunnymen - Quiet veteran

cheese war1978 wrote

Existence Guide wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

And your point is? I didn't read this because it neither offended nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. :)

You are ridiculously correct. You are beautiful.

I very much enjoy the things on this website.

I cant decide whether I should find out when your next on holiday, take the week off, find out where you live, and spend a full seven days eating adly, and then shitting on everything you own. None of that makes any sense.

:(.

THERE ARE PLENTY OF LUSH STUFF CRAWLING AROUND, BUT THIS TAKES THE BISCUIT. EDITED: SORRY, WRONG POST!

:)

IF I EVER HAVE SOMETHING GOD-AWFUL HAPPEN TO ME I'M GOING TO LOOK BACK AT THIS AND FEEL THAT AT LEAST I'M NOT YOU, YOU TWAT. YOU ARE SPURIOUS.

12 comments, registered 10 years ago
#26 @ 10 years ago
by cheese war1978 - Quiet veteran

Fleetwood Mac7 wrote

cheese war1978 wrote

Existence Guide wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

And your point is? I didn't read this because it neither offended nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. :)

You are ridiculously correct. You are beautiful.

I very much enjoy the things on this website.

I cant decide whether I should find out when your next on holiday, take the week off, find out where you live, and spend a full seven days eating adly, and then shitting on everything you own. None of that makes any sense.

:(.

THERE ARE PLENTY OF LUSH STUFF CRAWLING AROUND, BUT THIS TAKES THE BISCUIT. EDITED: SORRY, WRONG POST!

:)

I don't really understand... and yet I do understan. I don't know.

WHATEVER YOU SAY, CHARLIE.

12 comments, registered 10 years ago
#27 @ 10 years ago
by rubio7 - Quiet veteran

cheese war1978 wrote

Fleetwood Mac7 wrote

cheese war1978 wrote

Existence Guide wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

And your point is? I didn't read this because it neither offended nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. :)

You are ridiculously correct. You are beautiful.

I very much enjoy the things on this website.

I cant decide whether I should find out when your next on holiday, take the week off, find out where you live, and spend a full seven days eating adly, and then shitting on everything you own. None of that makes any sense.

:(.

THERE ARE PLENTY OF LUSH STUFF CRAWLING AROUND, BUT THIS TAKES THE BISCUIT. EDITED: SORRY, WRONG POST!

:)

I don't really understand... and yet I do understan. I don't know.

WHATEVER YOU SAY, CHARLIE.

snore. oh shut up.

13 comments, registered 10 years ago
#28 @ 10 years ago
by Error-Expert - Quiet veteran

cheese war1978 wrote

Fleetwood Mac7 wrote

cheese war1978 wrote

Existence Guide wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

And your point is? I didn't read this because it neither offended nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. :)

You are ridiculously correct. You are beautiful.

I very much enjoy the things on this website.

I cant decide whether I should find out when your next on holiday, take the week off, find out where you live, and spend a full seven days eating adly, and then shitting on everything you own. None of that makes any sense.

:(.

THERE ARE PLENTY OF LUSH STUFF CRAWLING AROUND, BUT THIS TAKES THE BISCUIT. EDITED: SORRY, WRONG POST!

:)

I don't really understand... and yet I do understan. I don't know.

WHATEVER YOU SAY, CHARLIE.

Whatever. People claim to have died for our sins. I believe that's relevant somehow.

11 comments, registered 10 years ago
#29 @ 10 years ago
by Roald Dahl7 - Ghost

cheese war1978 wrote

Fleetwood Mac7 wrote

cheese war1978 wrote

Existence Guide wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

And your point is? I didn't read this because it neither offended nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. :)

You are ridiculously correct. You are beautiful.

I very much enjoy the things on this website.

I cant decide whether I should find out when your next on holiday, take the week off, find out where you live, and spend a full seven days eating adly, and then shitting on everything you own. None of that makes any sense.

:(.

THERE ARE PLENTY OF LUSH STUFF CRAWLING AROUND, BUT THIS TAKES THE BISCUIT. EDITED: SORRY, WRONG POST!

:)

I don't really understand... and yet I do understan. I don't know.

WHATEVER YOU SAY, CHARLIE.

Effective job. Nice one.

10 comments, registered 10 years ago
#30 @ 10 years ago
by Kathryn_Robinson - Quiet veteran

rubio7 wrote

cheese war1978 wrote

Fleetwood Mac7 wrote

cheese war1978 wrote

Existence Guide wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

And your point is? I didn't read this because it neither offended nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. :)

You are ridiculously correct. You are beautiful.

I very much enjoy the things on this website.

I cant decide whether I should find out when your next on holiday, take the week off, find out where you live, and spend a full seven days eating adly, and then shitting on everything you own. None of that makes any sense.

:(.

THERE ARE PLENTY OF LUSH STUFF CRAWLING AROUND, BUT THIS TAKES THE BISCUIT. EDITED: SORRY, WRONG POST!

:)

I don't really understand... and yet I do understan. I don't know.

WHATEVER YOU SAY, CHARLIE.

snore. oh shut up.

this is the most retarded thing that i've ever witnessed on the internet

12 comments, registered 10 years ago
#31 @ 10 years ago
by Rock-River14 - Ghost

Kathryn_Robinson wrote

rubio7 wrote

cheese war1978 wrote

Fleetwood Mac7 wrote

cheese war1978 wrote

Existence Guide wrote

edge_turn111 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Blue 1981 wrote

S Church1 wrote

Boundary-Direction wrote

you don't understand schadenfreude do ou? i hope you get hit by a rampaging bull. this god-awful suck's, and you know it.

:(

I didn't not UN-despise this. Hey - I thought it was OK.

Hilarious. Nice work. I want this printed on a mug.

And your point is? I didn't read this because it neither offended nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. :)

You are ridiculously correct. You are beautiful.

I very much enjoy the things on this website.

I cant decide whether I should find out when your next on holiday, take the week off, find out where you live, and spend a full seven days eating adly, and then shitting on everything you own. None of that makes any sense.

:(.

THERE ARE PLENTY OF LUSH STUFF CRAWLING AROUND, BUT THIS TAKES THE BISCUIT. EDITED: SORRY, WRONG POST!

:)

I don't really understand... and yet I do understan. I don't know.

WHATEVER YOU SAY, CHARLIE.

snore. oh shut up.

this is the most retarded thing that i've ever witnessed on the internet

shut up - that's not what i said and you know it. this whole idea is stolen from somewhere else.

:(

3 comments, registered 10 years ago

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