Firefighters to be re-termed Fire Response Person

story image about fire and firefighters Squirting is such a problem
Report story

From 2015, all US firefighters are to re-termed as "Fire Response Persons". This new terminology is to (gently) combat the suggestion that the word 'fighter' is too aggressive to be used in this scenario, and that employees who attends fires in a "put-out" capacity, must feel free to engage their task in a controlled and calm manner.

This new edict follows on from a controversial 1994 guideline which stipulated that the term "fireman" be excised from history, or at least from the casual public's usage. Thousands of books, games, toys and suggestive-calendars were burned in an controlled-ritual in Chicago in the attempt to eradicate the existence of the sexist term, leading to a smog cloud that filled the skies for 2 weeks. This new re-terming is likely to cause similar controversies to that original change.

"It's a bit stupid," said one fire response person in New York, Ladder 17.5. "If I'm on a call, I don't think of myself as male or female; I don't think of myself as a fighter or a responder. But of course, I could have different feelings to everyone else because I do count myself as a cisgendered lovebot."

Future firefighters are already being referenced by the new terminology, and a new shortened version of the term 'FRaP' is likely to become common-usage, even though urban dictionary describes that as a term meaning 'female masturbation'.

Get Weekly Funny Stuff in your Inbox

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter

Headlines like this

thumbnail for item Facebook meltdown

IP Spoofer gets lost online

World Business 0

It was a normal day on the internet - Max Headlong was using his computer when he saw an advert that promised to "hide his identity" and "maximise online privacy"....

read more
6 years ago
thumbnail for item Now the flowers flourish

Sahara Desert blooms -thanks to colonic irrigation

World 0

O.K! , so you've had your workout in the gym, pierced every available part of your anatomy and tattooed the rest. What body statement is left for the cool Millennium babe? The answer can only be colonic irrigation....

read more
18 years ago


#1 @ 5 years ago

How many biscuit crumbs did it take to write this idiocy?

4 comments, registered 5 years ago
#2 @ 5 years ago
by Bushes Chamois - Quiet veteran


How many biscuit crumbs did it take to write this idiocy?

There are plenty of wonderful stuff on this here interweb, but this is ridiculous. I did not not UN-loathe this.

25 comments, registered 5 years ago
#3 @ 5 years ago
by stitchbadger - Ghost


How many biscuit crumbs did it take to write this idiocy?

this rocks my world. if this doesn't become a meme then the world has gone truly mad.

2 comments, registered 5 years ago

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.

Funny stuff

Get our funny weekly newsletters straight to your inbox
Subscribe to funny newsletter
or Find out more first

Consider checking us out and following us on social media:

Virgo horoscope

All of that which you experience today will be catalogued under "things not to do in public again". Fun is a word......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

Tourism booming in Venezuela: A Laughsend Special Report   Punny History  
Create your own Laughsend story
Free sign up / Login
Funny newsletter Funny RSS feed