Ark building found to be unlawful in US Constitution

A new study into the content of the "5th page" of the US Constitution has unearthed a rather obscure but potentially life-threatening clause that prevents the future building of any divine arks. It is only in recent years that the fifth page of the constitution was discovered, after keen-sighted researchers spotted the tiny "PTO" label on the bottom of the fourth page of the original Constitution document. Since then, many scholars have attempted to gain access to the document, but only small details of its contents have ever been revealed. This particular content leak is telling, in that it's "pathetic", as one wag has announced.

"... it is forbidden for any man who is summoned to prepare any water vessel for divine purposes, or under any higher guidance, to undergo such efforts..." states the text in question.

What it means for our future? Well, the concern amongst those who concern themselves with the Old Testament, is that if God sees fit to bring another can of whoop-ass down and flood the world, it would apparently be unconstitutional for any American to build an ark to protect themselves against the rising waters. We asked a few US citizens what they thought of the finding:

"Say what?" said Watt Watson, head of Polyjuice Records. "I ain't sure I heard you right, but it sounded like you said that the Lord was bringing down Armageddon on us, and we ain't got no chance to fight it. Nuh-uh. I ain't happy with this at all."

Armitage Shanker, responded:

"I got me a tiny little ark-in-a-bottle that I made in my basement back home. Took me nigh-on forty years to get that little bastard built. Now I'm gonna... hey!!..."

And, almost as though our conversation was being recorded, Mr Shanker was taken away by some burly police officers who happened to look quite fine.