World Sport

Cyborg to Nunes after dominating UFC 222 win: Come and fight me if you really are the Lioness

story image about Come and cyborg
Report story

Following her dominating win of over a gutsy Yana Kunitskaya last night at UFC 222, Cris Cyborg has only one woman in mind - Bantamweight Champion Amanda Nunes.

Speaking to reporters after her first round demolition of the Russian, Cyborg had this to say:

"This emphatic win tonight only proves one thing and that is I am without a doubt the baddest woman on the planet. I must give Yana her kudos for actually having the courage to come out and fight me seeing that she was given such short notice of the fight. But it was inevitable what I was going to do to her tonight. I wanted to do it to Ronda Rousey a few years ago but she always conveniently avoided me."

The Featherweight Champion continued:

"But I can understand why she did it. She knew damn well that I would have beaten the shit out of her and forced her into retirement earlier had she fought me. But now I only have my sights set on one woman and that is Amanda Nunes. So Amanda, if you are watching and listening I want you to know that I am coming for that Bantamweight Belt of yours. Your days as Champion are numbered and before this year is done I will be adding your name to my long list of victims."

She went on:

"If you are really the Lioness come and see if you can devour me like you did your previous opponents who were really not that good. I can guarantee you that when you fight me you will transform from a Lioness to a little kitten in a matter of seconds."

She ended by saying:

"Only then will you realize that Cyborgs are not something out of Science Fiction but are real and as scary and dangerous as they come. Just ask Yana and the previous opponents that I have destroyed in the Octagon over the years."





The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

Headlines like this

thumbnail for item A different kind of war

War good for absolutely nothin

World 7

Shock-rock pop-jock Edwin Starr [are we sure about that title? - Ed] has today announced his belief that war is good for "absolutely nothin'". Starr's viewpoint most dramatically...

read more
11 years ago
thumbnail for item Cyborg

Nazi cyborgs make up 78% of sports stars

World Sport 0

Evidence has been uncovered showing that secret experiments, performed by the Nazis towards the end of World War II, resulted in the creation of human-looking cyborg beings, and...

read more
12 years ago

Comments

#1 @ 8 years ago
by pulp fiction - One-off wonder

Curious, I took a crap last night and it looked pretty much like this. Who really wrote this - sum1 with chunk's missing from there head?

1 comment, registered 8 years ago
#2 @ 7 years ago
by Arundhati Roy - Quiet veteran

Ha! Nice work, funny type person.

12 comments, registered 11 years ago

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.


Virgo horoscope

Three is the magic number because some people have a magic superfluous nipple which can change the colour of the sky....

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

thumbnail for Celine Dion news story Titanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy thumbnail for Bush news story George W Bush to Take Over as the New Host of The Price is Right and Finally Find the Weapons of Mass Destruction
Funny RSS feed