Hogwarts ghost explains how one can be nearly headless

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Hogwarts ghost, Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington, born 1492, has this week explained how it is possible for him to be 'nearly headless'. Sir Nicholas, better known by Gryffindors by the epithet "Nearly headless Nick", has created a new website to explain exactly how it's possible to become not quite entirely headless. The site, developed in just a few hours, has been set up to stop awkward dinner conversations.

"It was really an idea of my cousins," explained Sir Nick in an exclusive conversation with Laughsend. "He's made his own website on Google and I asked him whether he could do something similar for me. I was sick of answering questions from stupid first years who think it's appropriate to spoil everyone's dinner by making me pull my head nearly off just to satisfy their dumb curiosity."

The site, whose URL we mysteriously don't seem to actually know, almost like we've made this up for some reason, crashed within the first few hours of launch. IT specialist Mike Grabowski told us:

"It's quite normal for cousin-made websites to crash quite a lot. Usually because they've been developed with a 2006 version of frontpage. But don't worry, it's probably crap anyway. I suggest they go with Cloudflare or someone like that."

We don't really know what any of that means, but we're told that the website mostly consists of images of flying toasters and pictures of Ronald "Bigun" Weasley wearing various types of sultry expressions. The main feature is a flash animation of Sir Nicholas in his finery, hinging his head forward in an bowing gesture. It's a classic.

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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