Pharma company to start selling anti-viagra as answer to date-rape drugs

A pharmaceutical company based in England is set to start selling what has been dubbed as "anti-viagra", in some quarters, due to its ability to render a penis flaccid and unusable for up to 48 hours. The drug, whose chemical name is Lifeanedlis (which is Sildenafil in reverse), is being touted as a possible answer for the prevention of date-rape. In one scenario posed to Laughsend, women will be encouraged to pre-spike men's drinks in any public drinking situation.

"There's no way this can go wrong," said spokesperson Ari Potter. "It's beautifully conceived, and hard - if you'll excuse the pun - to see any way in which there could be any form of backlash or harm done. We already have pre-orders in from a joint American-British company called SJW Inc. We're not sure who they are, but we're pretty sure they're sensible. The order form we received from them had crossed out the word "title", with a little note saying that it was offensive to ask that question. I thought it was a very funny joke of theirs. Well played ."

The drug, set to come into the marketplace within the next few months following the usual slap-dash testing procedures, is not exclusively aimed at pub and bar go-ers. Partners of abusive spouses are also part of what Ms Potter has identified as a marketing campaign that is likely to fall under the radar.

"We have a poster ready to go. It says

" Knock down the cock, before it knocks you up. "

We thought it was quite clever."

Various television and radio phone-ins have yet to weight in on the matter, otherwise we'd editorialise for you. We're going to assume that it's a good thing until someone tells us otherwise. Back to the studio, Kevin.