The whole of Russia breathed a sigh of relief earlier today as they finally won another match at the FIFA World Cup for the first time since 2002. It was only the World Cup host country's third win since the dissolution of the Soviet Union.
Speaking to the media earlier today, minutes after his team totally outclassed a hapless Saudi outfit by a 5-0 margin at a packed and ecstatic Luzhniki Stadium, Russia's Coach Cherchesov Stanislav was all smiles as he said:
"Whew! That's a relief. We all knew how difficoolt eet was going to be playing een front of sooch a large crowd like that. Thee boys were very nervous before thee game and I tried my best to geev them thee soundeest advice. I told them that they are doing thees for Mother Russia. They have to go out there and geev it their best. Thee Russian people are expecting us to do well and that we moost not let them down."
He went on:
"I told them that they shood forget what happened in thee friendlies because thees is thee real deal. They moost go out there and play thee match of their lives. And that was exactly what they deed. I am so proud of them. 5-0. Thees is our best opening win at thee World Cup in years. But I have to say that thee home support was very eemportant. We could not have done it without thee patriotic Russian fans in thee stadium cheering us on to victory."
"If Cheryshev keeps up his goal scoring ways he cood be headed for the Golden Boot. But frankly speaking, we moost not get too ahead of ourselves. We moost take it one game at a time. Our eentention is to ween thee group so as to avoid a potential meeting with Spain in thee second round. Although Portoogal cood also prove to be quite a challenge too. Our intention is to make at least thee quarterfinals. Then I can say that we have made progress."
"Eef not, then I am afraid that eet will only show that we have wasted thee last four years and that we would have let down a whole country; especially President Putin who ees steel desperate to make Russia a superpower once again. So, our performance at thees World Cup goes way beyond just winning matches and potentially winning a trophy. Thee most eemportant theeng is too satisfy a beeg ego."