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05:30 |
Breakfast news
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News / political programme |
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05:30AM to 08:30AM.
We eat pieces of news for breakfast.
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08:30 |
Political boredom
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News / political programme |
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08:30AM to 10:30AM.
Politicians pretending they are funky by telling black people they are stupid and poor, gay people that they are immoral, and anyone who isn't rich that they are lazy.
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10:30 |
Get your balls out of my court
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Documentary |
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10:30AM to 11:00AM.
Tennis instructor William Barker shows us how she trains in preparation for Wimbledon.
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11:00 |
Where's there's danger there's adventure
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Documentary |
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11:00AM to 12:00PM.
Wildlife series starring
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12:00 |
Lunchtime news
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News / political programme |
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12:00PM to 12:30PM.
Because between breakfast and lunch, people will have died, and you need to know about it.
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12:30 |
Sunday Sports
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Sport |
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12:30PM to 13:30PM.
Sports extravaganza, featuring past sports heroes who have run out of drug money.
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13:30 |
Lolsers
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Documentary |
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13:30PM to 15:30PM.
Documentary film mocking those who are starting to introduce online phrases into their everyday speech.
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15:30 |
Legs that tell the time
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Current / consumer affairs |
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15:30PM to 16:00PM.
A look into the fascinating world of health psychic Imogene Ritter.
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16:00 |
'Ten for that? You must be mad!'
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Auction show |
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16:00PM to 16:30PM.
People who don't understand the system of bartering get nailed trying to sell their own stuff.
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16:30 |
The Grape Pretender
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Food / drink show |
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16:30PM to 17:30PM. Available only for recording to VHS or Betamax.
A guide to wines and wine tasting, hosted by the world's greatest wine experts Josie Haney and Philip Krause.
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17:30 |
The clue is in the title
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Cartoon |
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17:30PM to 18:00PM.
Infinite mirrors game with Tom Kemp
Episode details:
Season 1, Ep. 3: Kenneth will have to face the consequences of speaking to another man's wife. Penguin impersonators provide at least twenty four percent of the drama, and he decides it might be time to break on through to the other side. It's time for Kenneth to tell the truth about Moises.
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18:00 |
Evening news
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News / political programme |
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18:00PM to 18:45PM.
Your working day is over - so see what misery befell other people.
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18:45 |
Local news
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News / political programme |
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18:45PM to 19:00PM.
For when you want to worry about the undoubtedly insular and inbred world around you.
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19:00 |
Sit the hell down
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Documentary |
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19:00PM to 19:30PM.
Parenting guide for foreign toddlers who are forced to look after younger siblings while their parents work in sweatshops.
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19:30 |
Things people find between their toes
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Hospital drama |
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19:30PM to 20:30PM.
Real-life hospital drama starring a number of people who lose their lives, a number of people who suffer embarrassing conditions, and a number of people who work at the hospital and clearly hate doing so.
Episode details:
Season 3, Ep. 4: Purple is probably blameless for everything. Identifying as goatkin doesn't bother Junior Haynes as much as it did Clyde. Writers strikes definitely did not happen at this point in the series.
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20:30 |
I ain't
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Comedy Series |
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20:30PM to 21:00PM.
Comedy improvisation show in which contestants must attempt to make the other laugh by creating sentences that never quite finish. Contains scenes of
Episode details:
Season 10, Ep. 5: Logic takes the high road in this action fraught drama. Everyone wonders what horrors will be next.
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21:00 |
If it's in my pants drawer, am I forced to wear it?
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Crime / Murder mystery Series |
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21:00PM to 21:30PM.
Weekly comedy crime mystery in which at least three people per episode are forced to cross-dress because they go undercover and nobody of the correct gender is available for some reason.
Episode details:
Season 6, Ep. 6: Mary is startled to discover that Mary knows everything. As someone the future, leprechauns sing badly in front of the vicar. Regardless of what recurs today, nobody will learn from their mistakes. Everyone wonders what horrors will be next. Docile star wars figures think more clearly with alcohol in their systems.
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21:30 |
Night news
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News / political programme |
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21:30PM to 22:00PM.
Find out what dreadful things have happened in other countries so that you don't feel so bad.
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22:00 |
Hope springs
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Comedy Series |
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22:00PM to 22:30PM.
Pearl Benson is a 50-something former housewife whose kids have now left home. With a rapidly ageing husband likely to die within a few years, Pearl begins playing the field in order to find that "perfect guy or gal".
Episode details:
Season 4, Ep. 6: Can the tension last while leona nguyen is still there? Someone reveals all. What did happen last episode, anyway? Is this the beginning of the end?
Contains scenes of a sexual and/or gay nature.
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22:30 |
My car and where I parked it
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Documentary |
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22:30PM to 23:15PM.
Proud car owners followed around major cities, and filmed while they park their automobiles.
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23:15 |
A shard in the eye for old Larsen
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Crime / Murder mystery Series |
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23:15PM to 00:15AM.
Glass blower Alexandra Larsen is a mild-mannered Octogenarian by day... but by night she becomes a super-sleuth Octogenerian crime stopping investigator. Follow her new adventures every week as we try to somehow blend in the occupation of glass blowing into a crime.
Episode details:
Season 8, Ep. 2: Can the tension last while Virginia is still there? She is left regretting speaking to another man's wife, and she learns today what the hell it means when they say it is the first step that is difficult.
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00:15 |
How do famous authors write such shit?
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Documentary |
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00:15AM to 01:00AM.
A documentary tracking famous authors and how they are able to get away with writing a lot of crap literature.
Contains scenes that may be disturbing to teenage wizards.
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01:00 |
Wet wipes: a tale of woe
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Documentary |
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01:00AM to 01:30AM.
Spare a thought for as he attempts to unblock drains from around the world in this fly-on-the-wall documentary series.
The first three rows may get wet. But not in the good way.
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01:30 |
Buzz
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Crime / Murder mystery Series |
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01:30AM to 02:30AM. Record option unavailable, because your remote's batteries are low
Crime drama about a man, Pete Faulkner, who hears a buzzing noise in his head whenever crime is about to happen. Co-stars his latest wife (which changes half way through each season).
Episode details:
Season 3, Ep. 17: A new arrival comes to visit. The trouble with going for a long walk begins to change the overall effect of the hundreds of chocolate bars. When someone is caught milking the situation for all it's worth, who knows what will happen next?
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