Beckham in threesome ending with a delightful high tea

David Beckham, notorious for being the poster boy of wholesome, is now apparently a full-time tea party thrower. According to sources close to the situation, Beckham recently participated in a threesome that ended with a delightful high tea.

"Can you imagine trying to fit three people in one tiny tea set?" remarked one anonymous source. "It was like watching a clown car act, except with fancy teacups."

As for the other two participants in the steamy event, rumors are circulating that they were none other than the Queen and Princess Diana's ghost.

"This is definitely going to change the way people think about Beckham," said a shocked bystander. "I always thought he was just a pretty face, but apparently he's also a tea connoisseur."

Beckham himself has yet to comment on the scandal, but sources say he's been spotted around town with a brand new tea set and an excited gleam in his eye. "I guess he's fully embraced the tea party lifestyle," chuckled the same anonymous source.

The incident has sparked a plethora of puns and catchphrases on social media, with fans of the soccer star now dubbing him the "Brew-tiful Game" and "The One With the Tea Party Threesome."

It looks like Beckham's legacy is about to get a lot more interesting thanks to his newfound love of afternoon tea. Who knew scandal could be so quaint?