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Clown tears cure bad breath; Smokey Robinson calls revelation "mint"

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In a stunning new breakthrough, scientists have discovered that clown tears actually contain the magical properties needed to cure bad breath. After years of research and experimentation, the team found that a single drop of clown tears on the tongue can banish bad breath for up to 24 hours.

News of the discovery has sent shockwaves through the medical community, with some experts calling it a "game-changer". Meanwhile, the general public is divided on the matter. While some are skeptical, others are flocking to circuses and clown schools in search of the magical cure.

"Initially, I was a bit hesitant to try it," said local resident and self-proclaimed clown aficionado, Bob McPherson. "But after just one tear, my breath was fresh as a daisy! Plus, it helped me get in touch with my inner clown."

Not everyone is thrilled, however. The shampoo industry is in shambles as customers are choosing clown tears over traditional minty mouthwash. Toothpaste companies are also feeling the pinch, with some now considering adding clown tears as an ingredient.

Celebrities have even gotten in on the craze, with the likes of Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga reportedly using clown tears as part of their daily hygiene routine. In response, clowns worldwide are coining new catchphrases such as "A tiny tear is all you need, for a mouth that's fresh indeed!".

Despite some backlash, the scientific community is championing this new discovery. "We always knew that clowns held some kind of mystical power," said Dr. Jane Harper, one of the lead scientists on the project. "And now we have definitive proof."

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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