Edinburgh Throws in the Sparklers: Fireworks at Fringe Festival Banned After 40 Years

Edinburgh's Fringe Festival has never been a stranger to controversy, but the latest decision has sparked outrage among festival-goers. The tradition of a magnificent fireworks display will be scrapped for good after forty years of dazzling crowds.

Unfortunately, Edinburgh's City Council has deemed the colourful light display as "too risky" and an "unnecessary cost," since the festival already draws so many attendees.

"We know the decision to end fireworks at the Fringe Festival will be met with mixed reactions, but the safety of our visitors is our top priority," said a spokesperson for the council.

But that's not all! In a bizarre turn of events, rumours are circulating that the ban may also be due to the celebrities attending the festival.

One anonymous source has said that it's because "the council couldn't handle the thought of Harry and Meghan showing up and stealing the show with their Hollywood glamour."

Another rumour suggests that "Simon Cowell's helicopter made an emergency landing during the fireworks display last year, so they decided it wasn't worth the risk."

Though the speculation amongst locals is rife, public opinion is divided; some feel that the fireworks should be brought back for the common good, while others feel that the festival has always been overrated.

"It's ridiculous to stop the fireworks," said one disappointed fan.

"It's a shame it's gone, but there are plenty of other events to enjoy at the festival," said another.

Meanwhile, in a surprising marketing move, the festival's organisers have decided to replace the fireworks with holograms of famous Fringe performers.

"One thing the Fringe Festival is known for is pushing boundaries, and this is no exception," they said in a statement.

The line-up for the hologram display includes iconic performers like Rowan Atkinson, Eddie Izzard and Billy Connolly.

When asked about the alternative to the traditional pyrotechnic display, a festival official said, "We're excited to bring something new to the festival, and if it means that people can enjoy a fantastic show minus the threat of singed eyebrows, then we're all for it."

The burning question on everyone's mind is whether or not the Hologram display will live up to expectations. The general consensus is that it can't possibly replace the excitement and magic that comes with a real fireworks display.

One local attendee summed it up perfectly, "It's like replacing Tony Stark with Jarvis; it might look and sound similar, but you just can't replicate that human element."