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Father's Day Cancelled as Sons Admit They Have No Clue What To Do

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In a stunning blow to dads across the nation, Father's Day has been cancelled due to a lack of creativity from their own sons. A survey conducted by the National Son's Association (NSA) found that a whopping 85% of sons were clueless when it came to coming up with a thoughtful gift or activity for their fathers.

"I mean, what do you get a guy who already has all the power tools in the world and never wears the ties you get him?" lamented one anonymous son.

The NSA is encouraging sons to step up their game and "get on Dad's level" in order to save the holiday. However, some sons are pushing back, insisting that their fathers already have everything they could ever want.

"He's already got a beer gut, what more can I give him?" said another anonymous son.

Fathers everywhere are understandably upset by this turn of events.

"I've been looking forward to this day for weeks," said Mr. Jones, a father of three. "I was hoping for at least a card or something. I work hard for these kids and this is the thanks I get?"

One local father, however, seems unfazed by the news.

"I always knew my kids were hopeless," said Mr. Johnson, a father of two. "I'll just treat myself to a nice steak dinner and call it a day."

The future of Father's Day hangs in the balance as sons struggle to come up with a way to show their love and appreciation for their old man. But, as one son put it, "At least we still have Mother's Day. I can always just get her flowers again."

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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