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Glitter Critter: Devon Man Arrested for Sparkling Too Brightly in Public

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In the small town of Bere, Devon, locals are used to seeing their fair share of eccentric characters. But none quite as glittery as 35-year-old Larry Jenkins. According to eyewitnesses, Jenkins was arrested for "causing a public disturbance with excessive glitter usage" after walking down High Street covered head-to-toe in the shimmering substance.

Jenkins, who describes himself as a "glitter enthusiast," is no stranger to attention. His Instagram page boasts over 10,000 followers, most of whom adore his use of glitter as an artistic statement.

However, not everyone is a fan. Local resident and self-proclaimed glitter-hater, Karen Davis, expressed her distaste for Jenkins' sparkle.

"I don't understand why he feels the need to shine so brightly," Davis stated. "It's like he's trying to blind us with his glittery presence."

Jenkins' arrest has caused quite a stir on social media, with many of his followers coming to his defense. #FreeTheGlitter has even begun trending on Twitter.

In a statement to the press, Jenkins remained unapologetic about his love for all things shiny.

"I will not be silenced," Jenkins declared. "I will continue to spread glitter wherever I go, and if that means getting arrested, then so be it."

As for his future plans, Jenkins is already brainstorming his next look, which he promises will be "even more sparkly."

The Devon police department declined to comment on the incident, other than to state that "glitter should be used responsibly and within reason."

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

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