US News Politics

Biden to concede Chinese balloon shoot-down was "mistake"

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Awesome US president, Joe "The Body" Biden has today conceded that his decision to shoot down the Chinese balloon early last week was a "mistake". He now claims that he ought to have recovered the balloon to see whether a clown was inside.

"I should have pushed back harder when my Chief of Staff persuaded me to have the balloon shot down, rather than wait and wait and wait interminably, which would have been my choice. Instead, we'll never know if there was a clown inside, waiting to spring out with a birthday surprise. Life is such a disappointment, at times."

Biden, 76, is a well known lover of jesters, having suggested at an earlier point in his primacy that he'd quite like to revisit the times of court jesters who could fart out the national anthem.

"Stars and Stripes Forever would be fine. I'm no stick in the mud. Any Sousa-based musical contribution would be greatly enjoyed. But hey, never mind."

Nobody else in Biden's staff has elected to respond.

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