A professor of English at Duchess University has been fired for sending an email telling English-speaking students to "speak English".
Professor Bridget Monahan, 32, said the email was directed to English-speaking students studying English but who failed to speak English.
After Professor Monahan's email went viral on social media, many opponents of the English language accused her of blatant racism, sexism and several other -isms, and complained that she was overtly discriminating against English-speaking students who didn't speak English.
An English-speaking German student said: "We are having daily conversations in English with our English friends but some of them don't speak English at all."
An English-speaking Chinese student added: "We have no problem speaking English but some of the English students' English is so bad we don't understand them."
An English student from the South said (we offer an approximate translation) that she fully supported Professor Monahan who was as far removed from being a racist as a pile of momma's pies in a chicken coop, adding that the University oughta get its coon hounds lined up afore going a-shooting at them thar peccadilloes.
An overseas exchange student from London, England commented: "Cor blimey, 'strewth, stone the flippin' crows, luv a duck. Would you Adam and Eve it? It's all them trendies getting their city slickers in a twist. Mind, we should all rabbit and pork the Queen's like, eh."
Mickey Clotwoman, head of English, said: "There is absolutely n o imperative for English-speakers to speak English anywhere on campus, especially in English classes. You will not be disadvantaged and will, of course, be given special consideration and dispensation for any employment you seek now ad throughout your career."
Not sure about this one. :)
I doubt this is true. Seems spurious.
Now listen here you littl shits... :(.
There is too many majestic stories crawling around, but this is so hilarious.