US News Politics

If Oprah becomes President

story image about If Oprah and main
Report story

The 44 dollar bill would be printed with Barack Obama's face on it.

Judge Karen would be made Supreme Court Justice.

A sign would be placed on the White House big and bold reading: BUILT BY SLAVES,

Reading of The Color Purple would be made mandatory for all elementary and high schools.

Everyone who voted for her would get a free car.

She would dump Stedman Graham.

Barack Obama would be her main advisor.

Courses like White Guilt Studies and How To See Racism In Every Situation would be made available at universities.

More schools would be built in Kenya.

Elderly white people would have to die.

All TV shows and movies would have to have at least two black characters in them. In the case of the movies, they would have to be given a main role.

There would be no more all white girl cheerleading squads or sports teams. They would be forced to embrace diversity.

Black History Month would be moved from February to January because it has more days.

New Age Religion would become the main religion in America.

More immigrants from Africa and the Caribbean - especially Haiti would be encouraged to come to America angering Donald Trump.

Black people, especially former First Lady Michelle Obama would feel proud to be American once again.





The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

Headlines like this

thumbnail for item Ninja please

Ninja 4 President

US News Politics 21

A ninja has today announced his candidacy for the next American Presidency, in 2016. Although currently unaffiliated to any of the major parties, Dan Silverman (46) is said to...

read more
11 years ago

Comments

#1 @ 7 years ago
by Shea_L - One-off wonder

Heh-heh. Sweet work, amusing type person. :)

1 comment, registered 8 years ago
#2 @ 7 years ago
by thing999 - One-off wonder

Shea_L wrote

Heh-heh. Sweet work, amusing type person. :)

How amusing.

1 comment, registered 9 years ago
#3 @ 7 years ago
by NOUGHTS AND CROSSES111 - Ghost

Shea_L wrote

Heh-heh. Sweet work, amusing type person. :)

Now listen here you little idiots... I thought it was amusing.

2 comments, registered 9 years ago
#4 @ 7 years ago
by Income Grass - Ghost

NOUGHTS AND CROSSES111 wrote

Shea_L wrote

Heh-heh. Sweet work, amusing type person. :)

Now listen here you little idiots... I thought it was amusing.

Have a feeling this sort of piece of work might just take over my entire life. :)

5 comments, registered 10 years ago
#5 @ 7 years ago
by NestPolish - One-off wonder

Income Grass wrote

NOUGHTS AND CROSSES111 wrote

Shea_L wrote

Heh-heh. Sweet work, amusing type person. :)

Now listen here you little idiots... I thought it was amusing.

Have a feeling this sort of piece of work might just take over my entire life. :)

I have read almost everything on the internet and this is better than all of that. :)

1 comment, registered 7 years ago
#6 @ 7 years ago
by mack-garza - One-off wonder

thing999 wrote

Shea_L wrote

Heh-heh. Sweet work, amusing type person. :)

How amusing.

THERE ARE ALL SORTS OF REASONS TO HATE YOU, AND THIS IS ONE. WHY DOES THIS NOT SEEM TO BOTHER ANYONE ELSE?

1 comment, registered 7 years ago

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.


Libra horoscope

Apocalyptic dreams may haunt you for the next few months, but may not mean that you're crazy. Believe everything you......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

thumbnail for Celine Dion news story Titanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy thumbnail for Bush news story George W Bush to Take Over as the New Host of The Price is Right and Finally Find the Weapons of Mass Destruction
Funny RSS feed