White House renovated to accommodate female President.

A LAUGHSEND SPECIAL REPORT

Ever since President Obama told Anderson Cooper he relies exclusively on the fact-driven journalism of Laughsend Media Group for information and news, we have been considered second family to The O'man and his staff. Including White House curator Dominic Hobknob, who has agreed to give our 3-weeks-sober journo, Bubba Rothschild, a small tour and explain the modifications currently being done to the building so Hillary and the first-lad will feel at home after she most certainly wins the election..

The curator begins the tour by leading us down a scaffold-lined hallway. “It’s important to remember that this old house essentially is a boys club, and has been one for more than 200 years, which also helps to explain the inherent odor of cigar smoke and flatulence burning in your eyes. Sadly, that’s all going to be a thing of the past after they brought in this Chinese feller, Feng Swung or something.”

The old man suddenly stops by an open door and points into the empty room.

“This here used to be the barbershop where the gentlemen of politics would gather to have their muttons chopped, forge alliances and stack up on condoms ahead of intern-season. Can you believe the mad matriarchs have decided to turn it into a hair and nail saloon?” asks the old man with a voice full of sadness.

We follow the smell of fresh paint down a pastel hallway until we reach to the oval office, where a construction worker is about to hang a rainbow colored bead-curtain in the doorway. Inside we find the worlds most famous room remarkable untouched by the progress. The only changes is the noticeable humming of a newly installed and extremely powerful air condition and the large selection of scented candles present.. And being here, in this room, with the man who ought to know; we simply had to ask him about the mysterious Presidents book of Secrets. And after molding over the question Mr. Hobknob said: "There is a hidden cabinet somewhere in the office which contains literature eternally being passed on from one president to the next. However, The presidents book of secrets is not so much a book, as it is a collection of image-rich magazines.”

The dirty mags have since been replaced by a red rose resting on a box of assorted chocolates.

(BR)